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Weight: 186 – Pounds left to lose: 26

If my sore triceps are any indication, this small bounce back up a pound is at least partly due to muscle. About time too, since everyone said I would gain weight because of muscle and it hadn’t happened yet. I was beginning to wonder if my dumbbells were broken.

Last night I discovered I can now squeeze into those size 14 jeans I bought on the last day of 2006. I know most women try to convince themselves they are a size smaller than they actually are, but I must have some brain synapses crossed because I typically try to convince myself I’m a size larger than I am. I actually missed the time I was a size 24 and went right from a baggy pair of size 26’s to a pair of 22’s. I get so used to the looser feel of my jeans as I shrink that I don’t believe the next size down should feel as tight as they do when I first put them on. I also like to keep muffin […]

Weight: 185 – Pounds left to lose: 25

Down another pound this week. Not much else to say. I’m off to buy some more dumbbells. Hopefully I’ll be able to carry them up the steps. That’s one of the funny things about buying dumbbells, they don’t actually get any lighter when you have to move them for purposes other than weight training.

Weight: 186 – Party in PastaQueen’s fat pants!

After 770 days this blog has finally earned its name. Half of me is gone! I’m just glad I didn’t go with the James Bond villain method and cut myself down the middle with a laser beam. It would have been quicker, but I’d have lost my depth perception and halved my typing speed .

Everyone is invited to a virtual party in my fat pants! Trust me, there’s room for everyone. Below is the money picture. It was difficult to take because I used my camera timer, so I had to hop across my kitchen and pivot around and smile in under 10 seconds. However, I am now prepared for the Potato Sack Race World Championships, if ever they should be held. If all the fat bloggers ever get together, we should hold a sack race in our fat pants.

Even if I end up bouncing back up next week, I can now honestly say there was a time in my life when I lost half my body weight. Only another 26 pounds to go!

Weight: 188 – Pounds left to lose: 28

Oh, okay, I’m down two pounds from last week. Whatever, body. Didn’t you notice I ate too much bread and a cupcake last week? Sometimes my body is like a referee that’s looking the other way and makes the wrong call.

That’s still up one pound from two weeks ago, so my weight chart is getting as jagged as a hacksaw blade. Maybe I can manipulate my weight loss so I draw a picture on my chart. If I gain weight next week and then lose it and then gain it again, I’ll have a pair of vampire fangs!

I think the weight lifting is going well because it is causing me pain. Last night when my cat started kneading my chest right above my boobs, I yelped as if he’d pawed my nipple. I evidently have muscles there. And they hurt. I was going to go look for a bench at Goodwill or Play It Again Sports, but it is snowing again, so I’m going to stay home. I’m so ready for winter to be over, […]

Weight: 187 – Pounds left to lose: 27

One pound away from officially losing half my body weight. Maybe I won’t have to lob off a hand to make it after all. The amount I have left to lose is equivalent to one bucket of kitty litter. When I started out I got a sense of how much I’d lost by hefting those bright yellow buckets into my grocery cart and thinking “Wow, I’ve lost 1/2/3/4 of these!” Eventually it got a point where it was so much weight I couldn’t even judge it anymore. Now we’re reaching the other side and I can actually lift the amount of weight I need to lose.

It appears my weight loss is back to the pattern of hold…hold…hold…HUGE LOSS! The ride down is exhilarating, like sledding down the enormous snowy hill in our backyard on the bright orange plastic sled I had as a kid. Climbing back up that snowy hill, slipping and sliding in the wrong direction, getting snow down my butt crack, was the tedious cost of the thrill ride. Seems like my weight […]

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JennetteFulda.com now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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