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Ice, ice, baby

As I was running over snow packed on top of crunchy ice (at eight o’clock on a Saturday morning, no less), I looked at the people in my running group and realized that this must be what it’s like to join a cult. Each task is just slightly crazier than the next. That way you don’t notice the escalation of madness by comparison. First they convince you to jog in sub-freezing temperatures. Then they get you to run on ice that could cause you to slip and break your neck. Eventually they’ll have me wearing black robes, holding a knife in front of an alter made out of shoe boxes, asking, “Don’t you want to kill the mongoose? Only its sacrificial blood can cure your plantar fasciitis.” Exactly what are they putting in that post-workout Gatorade?

Surprisingly, I enjoyed running in the snow and ice. The ice prevented me from running too fast, which helped me get through the 40 minute run this week, the longest I’ve run since September. I probably would have felt differently […]

What if 6 was -9 (degrees Fahrenheit)?

Most Saturdays I don’t care what the temperature is at eight o’clock in the morning. Most Saturdays I am snuggled in my bed debating whether to have oatmeal or eggs for breakfast. Most Saturdays I’m not starting my half-marathon training. Last Saturday was not most Saturdays. I woke up at 7:30 to check my computer’s weather widget for the temperature and my eyelids peeled up to my scalp when I saw this:

Crap! I got dressed anyway, in my newly purchased sweat-wicking pants and sweat-wicking pullover fleece from Target. I also put on a light-weight jacket and my wool coat and stuffed my hat and mittens in my pockets. Then I drove to the running store where my training program is hosted, all the while thinking I would get my training schedule and free T-shirt and then go home because only a group of cruel-hearted bastards would make anyone run in these temperatures. Surely the leader would stand up and laugh and tell everyone that the real running would start next week because it would […]

Ask a loser: How do I start running?

I am not a Magic 8 ball, but sometimes people ask me questions (though thankfully they don’t shake me afterwards). EVA asks, “i noticed you started out walking and are now running. how did you do it?” I’ve been asked this before and my advice is: Don’t do what I did! I did no research and I had no plan. I was just walking on the treadmill one day, all 200-something pounds of me, and I decided to kick it up to a run. I started out doing short distances and eventually got up to a mile. A mile! It was awesome. Then I injured myself. This was because I was not stretching properly and I did not have good running shoes and didn’t know what the hell I was doing.

So, avoid the idiot’s method of running and do some reading before pounding the pavement. Before I dispense any advice, I should remind you I am not a doctor and I don’t even play one on TV. It’s always best to consult a physician before […]

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Man looking into telescope

Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JennetteFulda.com now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

Lick the Produce: Odd things I've put in my mouth
Half-Marathon: Less fun than it looks
European Vacation

"What distinguishes us one from another is our dreams and what we do to make them come about." - Joseph Epstein

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