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Splenda tastes like cotton candy

I ate Splenda straight out of the bag a couple nights ago. Considering how frequently I ate Tang crystals or hardened rocks of brown sugar as a kid (and an adult), it’s odd that it’s taken me this long to consider eating the artificial sweetener straight up. It wasn’t as good as sugar or Tang. After all, Mary Poppins didn’t sing, “A spoon full of Splenda helps the medicine go down.” However, it had the same texture as cotton candy, which I found to be surprisingly delightful. I’d stick a spoonful in my mouth and as my saliva seeped into the bulked-up mix of strange chemicals, it would collapse into a clumpy, ball of sweetness on my tongue. Why hasn’t anyone ever mentioned that before? Am I the only nut who has eaten the stuff raw? I wonder if Splenda could develop a zero-calorie cotton candy. I’d try that at the State Fair.

I’m not recommending that anyone start eating Splenda by the bagful. Even the sleaziest salesman alive couldn’t argue that it has any nutritional […]

My skin: Still loose, but I have lots of high quality product

Sometimes I feel like a Magic 8 ball because readers ask me a lot of questions. (At least they don’t shake me for the answers.) I don’t mind answering, but by far, the most popular question is, "How is your skin?" (In second place is, "How did you start running?" and a close third is "How do you stay motivated?") I’ve written entries to address all of these questions to save everybody some time, but recently I’ve received a couple follow-up questions on the skin entry. People want to know if my skin has tightened up any over the past year. The answer? I don’t think so.

It’s hard to be completely certain since a change like that would be subtle. I don’t think I look any older than I did a year ago. And a year ago I didn’t think I looked any older than the year before. However, I do keep aging and 20 years from now I’m sure I’ll look older than I do today. The skin however, is still somewhat loose, particularly […]

Eat, drink and be merry

I recently proposed that we needed to come up with a word to describe someone who wasn’t fat, but wasn’t really thin either. While we’re revising the lexicon, I think we need to decide what the word “diet” is supposed to mean. Maybe we should just throw the word out completely and recycle the letters for use in other words. The word “diet” has so many connotations that using the word is like wielding a blunt object. It’s imprecise. It causes a lot of confusion. It makes me sound like I’m subsisting solely on tofu and rice cakes.

“Dieting” has a lot of negative baggage. If you’re on a diet it’s implied that someday you will go off a diet. It’s a temporary state of existence, like a month-to-month lease. Dieting implies another “d” word – deprivation. Dieters are accused of starving themselves and going hungry. It’s implied that if you break any of your diet’s multiple rules you are a very bad person indeed. Violators will have their knuckles rapped with their diet books and […]

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JennetteFulda.com now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

Lick the Produce: Odd things I've put in my mouth
Half-Marathon: Less fun than it looks
European Vacation

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