Filed Under: peace

Tonight Officer Krupke is going to live with Gramma.

I’ve given it over three months, but Officer Krupke hates Java Bean more than water and dogs and the sound of plastic bags. Several times a day there is hissing and snarling. I pick little globs of hair off the carpet because fur literally flies. There has been blood and scratched noses. Java Bean seems to think it’s fun to chase Krupke and bat at him with his paws. It’s all a game, just like it was when he was growing up with his litter of brothers and sisters.

Krupke was a stray, so I don’t know his background, but I don’t think he was socialized. I don’t think he played with brothers and sisters because Java Bean’s attempts to have fun are appreciated as much as a flea bath. Krupke makes sounds I don’t like to hear outside of a professional wrestling match. Sometimes he wrestles Java Bean to the ground and bites his neck, not in a playful manner, but as if to say, “I will END you.”

I’ve given it time – over three months. I bought expensive cat pheromones that were supposed to make them love each other. I got a book explaining how to introduce cats to one another. But it’s time to admit this is just not working. Krupke is miserable, and I’m sick of the noise and the fear that they’ll harm one another. They fought under my bed last week and literally made it shake. Sometimes they fight on either side of my face as I’m going to sleep. Eventually someone is going to get hurt, and it might be me.

It’s funny that I got Java Bean because I thought Officer Krupke was lonely. I really misread that situation. I also didn’t anticipate that I would like Java Bean so much better. He is cuddly and snuggly and affectionate in ways Krupke never has been. I love my Krupke, but he is a loner and I never realized how unaffectionate he was until a truly loving cat came into my life. It’s like I spent years with a mediocre boyfriend only to have a fabulous man come into my life to make me realize how subpar the first relationship was.

So, Krupke is going to go live with my mother. He knows her and she has a bigger apartment. He will be happier there with more space and no Java Bean swiping at his tail. But really, those are just happy coincidences. I’m letting him go because it’s what’s best for me, and it’s silly to pretend this is not a selfish move. I have essentially replaced my cat. I know that. I know it makes me a sort of bad person. But I’m still doing it. I will miss my baby, but I’ll still get to see him. Hopefully we’ll all be happier for it.

Let this also serve as a warning to you. Everyone told me that the cats would eventually work it out and become friends. Well, that didn’t happen. Sometimes cats just hate each other. If you’re thinking of adding another cat to your household, consider yourself warned.

ETA: The more I think about this, the sadder I get. I’m practically crying at my desk right now. I wish my kitties would just get along.

ETA: Okay, I just cried in the bathroom and now I have red, puffy eyes. Hopefully my coworkers won’t notice…and hopefully they don’t read my blog.