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Hotter than I thought

“Hey, beautiful!” I heard a man yell. I kept walking towards downtown. “What’s going on?” I slowed down and looked towards the voice yelling these words and saw a 20-something, man dressed in street clothes crossing the street, arms open, looking at me. It then occurred to me that, oh my, he was talking to me.

This left me greatly confused.

I gave the man a befuddled look, as though he’d just asked me where the library was in Portuguese. I kept waiting for him to follow up with, “Can you spare some change?” but he didn’t, so I kept walking in the other direction. As I continued down the sidewalk, I came upon another man who looked at me and said, “Hey, how you doing today?” Dear Lord, why were people being so friendly on the street? What was this, the deep south? Here in the Midwestern states we typically ignore our fellow pedestrians and let them live out their hollow lives in peace, thank you very much.

I still don’t know why I suddenly attracted the […]

Life is good, ya?

1) I was greatly amused by the German technician at my eye appointment this morning. She frequently beckoned me to “Go wit me now,” as we moved from room to room to shine lights into my pupils and drip frighteningly yellow drops into my eyes which I can’t be sure weren’t Mountain Dew. Her accent and demeanor were a nice change of pace from the whitebread culture of Indiana, but the amusing part came when she left the room as I waited for the doctor. My medical information was displayed on a computer screen to my right. Being a busybody and luckily still in possession of my glasses and thus my sight, I scanned the screen and had to stifle a giggle. In a notes field was this sentence, “Patient is well-nourished.” Well-nourished! OMG, is that medical code for “fat?” Do doctors have conversations like this:

Doctor 1: I think you’d really love going on a date with my 2:00 patient. She has a great personality.

Doctor 2: Great personality? Oh yeah, how nourished is she?

Doctor 1: […]

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Man looking into telescope

Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JennetteFulda.com now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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"What distinguishes us one from another is our dreams and what we do to make them come about." - Joseph Epstein

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