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Restoring sanity next Saturday

Being a sane person who now lives within a five-hour drive of Washington DC, I’ve decided to attend the Rally to Restore Sanity/March to Keep Fear Alive next Saturday, October 30th. For those of you who live in foreign lands or don’t have cable, this event is being held by Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, hosts of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. They generally serve as court jesters pointing out the absurdity in American politics. Anyway, they are hella’ funny and smart, and I think the rally will be a blast as long as I bring several layers and a polar fleece. I’m also exactly the type of person the rally is intended for—someone who believes in sanity in politics, but is too lazy to leave my apartment to campaign or attend any rallies to do anything about it. It’s a rally for people who don’t usually attend rallies! That’s me!

I’m crashing with an old high school friend Friday night, and I’m leaving the city right after the rally ends at 3pm. But […]

Order food here

Uh, no thanks. I don’t think I will. My cat might be interested though.

We seemed to have misplaced our meatballs

“Do you have the crockpot full of meatballs?” my mother asked me after I got out of my car. We’d just driven two vehicles to my uncle’s house for a holiday gathering. However, all the food was in my mother’s car, not mine.

“Uh, no,” I told her after a short pause. I couldn’t believe my mother was asking me this question. My mother, who compulsively checked the stove before leaving the house. My mother, who carefully staged all the food on the dining room table the night before departure so she wouldn’t forget anything. My mother, who made me top off my car’s coolant in the dark and cold on Christmas Eve so she wouldn’t worry about my car overheating on the drive down. How could my mother ever possibly misplace a crockpot full of meatballs?

“I carried them out and put them on the sidewalk by your trunk,” Sister-in-law chimed in. Two seconds later we all simultaneously made the same realization: We had left a crockpot full of meatballs on the sidewalk in front of […]

Take me to “The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance” by Elna Baker

I was driving to Cleveland in the dark and I’d had a headache for half of Ohio, when Elna Baker came on my MP3 player. I had downloaded podcasts of The Moth, a storytelling show based in New York, and the latest episode featured the comedian/writer/Mormon recounting a family trip to Cyprus (which you can listen to here). My second reaction was, “Man, my family vacations only occurred at lame places (like Gettysburg,which is as interesting as you think a field would be) or predictable places, like Ocean City (love the salt water taffy). Why didn’t I get to go to Cyprus?” This was my second reaction because my first reaction was laughter, which helped me get through the rest of Ohio.

Later, I looked up information on Elna Baker and realized I’d heard her before, on This American Life where she told another funny, yet disturbing story, about selling dolls at FAO Schwarz. So, when I saw that she had a memoir coming out this October 15th called The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween […]

Like a hamster in a wok

I’ve laughed and laughed and laughed at this video ever since a friend instant messaged me with the link. What a silly little hamster, running as fast as he can to escape the wok, but never making any progress.

“Why doesn’t he ever figure out it’s pointless?” I asked my friend. Then I started the video at the beginning and watched it again. But upon this viewing I started to wonder, are there things in my life that I am attacking like a hamster in a wok? Is there anything I am working and fussing and plowing at head on, making no progress, when it would be better to take another approach? If so, some highly evolved organism might be laughing at a YouTube video of me too.

Then I found this video of cats on a slide and started laughing all over again.

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Man looking into telescope

Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JennetteFulda.com now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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