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Life in the slow lane

This morning on the freeway I was passed by a house.

Technically, it’s a trailer, but it scared the reptile part of my brain as it passed me in the right lane. I swear I was going 70mph. I think there is a joke about “house flies” in here somewhere, but my brain is too tired to put it together, so you’ll have to assemble that joke yourself. I have an Allen wrench if you need it.

Get out of my yard!

A husky man with a little dog walks past my back porch every night at 7:15pm. Sometimes he is reading a book, other times he is playing a hand-held video game which I know is not called a Gameboy, but I want to call a Gameboy because I was born in 1980. Usually he is wearing a T-shirt, flip-flops and baggy gym shorts. Regardless of his outfit, every night at 7:15pm I burst into uncontrollable giggles, because it is very odd to have a strange man who is oblivious to my existence appear within 3 feet of me and then disappear as quickly as he came. I almost expect him to stroll through the sliding glass door, look up in a confused manner and mumble, “How’d I end up in this lady’s living room?” Then the cats would attack.

My new apartment has a back porch which faces the back of another row of apartments in the complex, divided by a stretch of grass which probably has a proper name defined in dictionaries, but I don’t […]

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Man looking into telescope

Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JennetteFulda.com now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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"What distinguishes us one from another is our dreams and what we do to make them come about." - Joseph Epstein

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