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Attack of the Gummi Bears

In lieu of seeing the horsies at the Derby this weekend, I decided to see a spider at the movie theatre, or Tobey Maguire dressed up as one in Spider-man 3. But I was almost mauled by bears on the way to the stadium seating, gummi bears that is.

At the entrance to the theatre, the ticket-taker ripped my ticket in half and then handed me not only the stub, but a small plastic bag of gummi bears. That’s right, people are now literally shoving junk food into my hands. Maybe I need to start wearing a T-Shirt that says, “Please don’t feed the dieter.” As a kid we used to buy Snickers bars at the convenience store around the corner and smuggle the sugary contraband inside at the bottom of my mother’s purse, and now they’re giving the stuff away for free. They’re trying to take all the fun out of it, aren’t they? At least I still got a thrill by sneaking a can of generic Diet Cola inside by tucking it between […]

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JennetteFulda.com now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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