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Seeing the ex

Despite my sacred vow never to shop at a Lane Bryant ever again, I found myself picking through their clearance racks this weekend. I had a very good reason though. I was helping a friend find clothes for her father’s funeral. I did not purchase anything myself, so we are still technically broken up. It was more like seeing an ex at a party and being polite enough to make small talk, but remaining chaste enough not to jump back in bed with him.

I eventually touched almost every single object of clothing in that store searching for something that did not make my friend look like a goth hooker and was available in her size. It brought back all the trauma I used to experience shopping at LB, knowing that if we didn’t find something there we were pretty much screwed. The only other option was to buy a black sheet, wrap it around her like a sari and claim she’d converted to hinduism, despite the fact that the funeral mass was held in a […]

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Man looking into telescope

Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JennetteFulda.com now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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