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The same, but different

I used to get bored on long car trips as a child. This was before they sold SUVs with DVD players or iPhones or personal MP3 players. Back in the 80’s you played license plate bingo or you hit your brother. After 12 hours of driving from the Midwest to the east coast, this could get very boring and if I could have stopped the car and gotten out to watch some She-Ra instead I would have. I think this is one of the reasons people fail at weight loss. They get bored and they stop the car.

There’s a strange conundrum to weight loss, an oxymoron almost, that you must keep doing the same thing over and over again but differently enough to keep you interested. I have to exercise day after day, but if I do the same Pilates routine for too many weeks in a row, I start to dread rolling out my mat. I have to eat healthy day after day too, but if I eat the same foods over and over […]

Weighing in on September

There has been no 180 on my weight this month because I’m still weighing in at 180. This does not bother me since I’m glad I’ve been maintaining my loss. That’s 32 months straight with no significant gains. I also have to admit that for the past couple of months I’ve been in a maintenance frame of mind. Weight loss is nice, but now that I can buy bras in the stores (Yay, 36A!) and pants in the misses section (Double yay, size 12!), it doesn’t seem quite so urgent.

However, I also have to admit I don’t want to weigh more than 180 ever again. At the most I never want to pop back over 186, which was the point where I officially lost half my weight. If I get bigger than I am now it’s back to plus-sized jeans and ordering bras online. I’d like to have at least a 10 pound buffer area so I have time to correct course if I ever do start gaining back weight. Right now I don’t have […]

Wedding cardio: From the fitness room to the dance floor

There was no excuse not to use the fitness room at the hotel I stayed at this weekend during my brother’s wedding because it was literally across the hallway from my suite.

I did not request this, it just happened. Of all the possible rooms on three floors, I ended up about 4 feet away from the treadmills and stair-climbers. I woke up early Saturday morning, got dressed and stretched in the dark so I didn’t wake my mother, and stumbled across the hallway. There were two treadmills, but the first one’s power key was broken in half, so you couldn’t turn it on. I turned on the TV and got on the second treadmill and walked for about 5 minutes to warm-up. Then I pushed it up to 5 miles per hour to jog for about three minutes. Next I decided to throw in some one minute intervals where I would ran as fast as I could until I felt like “throwing up a lung” as Skwigg would say. I pushed the speed up to […]

Rule the court

Last night I discovered tennis is a lot more fun when you actually bat the ball back and forth with your partner. It’s far more entertaining than sending balls ricocheting onto the next court or running after wayward balls mumbling, “Sorry!” after missing an easy shot. Maybe I won’t give it up after my lessons end after all.

I no longer completely suck at tennis. I now only mostly suck. When practicing my serve, I can toss the ball in the air in front of me and whack it, instead of accidentally tossing it behind my head like a bad juggler. We played some easy doubles games and I was able to hit the ball more often than I didn’t. During one game called “Kings and Queens of the Court” my partner and I were able to get three points in a row and defeat the reigning kings to take over their spot. I will try to ignore the patriarchal implications that it is better to be the king than the queen and just be happy […]

My New Workout

Truly, the only way you could get me to run that fast is if you put a cookie in front of me.

Video via Skwigg who saw it on Alwyn Cosgrove. For those of you sneaking your blog reading in at work and don’t want to blow your cover, it’s a Japanese game show where the object of the game is to run off the end of a long treadmill. You grab a cookie every 10 feet or so, at which point the treadmill speeds up. Most people end up tripping and get sent off the treadmill into a pool of water. But hey, at least they got a cookie! When I first watched it I thought, “Man, it’s pretty much impossible to win this game,” and then I realized that was the point. It’s way more entertaining to see people get knocked into a wading pool with a mouth mashed full of chocolate chips than it is to see them win. It’s like an allegory for our high-paced, competitive society. We’re all running like crazy […]

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Man looking into telescope

Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JennetteFulda.com now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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