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Life in the slow lane

This morning on the freeway I was passed by a house.

Technically, it’s a trailer, but it scared the reptile part of my brain as it passed me in the right lane. I swear I was going 70mph. I think there is a joke about “house flies” in here somewhere, but my brain is too tired to put it together, so you’ll have to assemble that joke yourself. I have an Allen wrench if you need it.

Moving Diary: Farewell, Indiana! Truckin’ it to North Carolina.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

12:00pm – Drive to Budget with Baby Brother to pick up truck that I reserved with 20% off coupon. Beat that, U-haul. After visual inspection, decide to get 16′ truck instead of 10′ truck to be sure everything will fit. Desk clerks are answering phones and swearing at their 1980’s dot-matrix printer that is malfunctioning like any printer older than my Baby Brother would. Remembering my Jetta vs. armored truck incident, I buy extra insurance.

12:30pm – Dial Baby Bro’s cell phone from my Saturn as I trail behind him on the way home, totally disregarding Oprah’s No Phone Zone campaign.

“Hey, did they put a dolly on the truck?”


12:40pm – Say hi to clerks who hate their jobs and grab last dolly, tossing it in the trunk with my back seats folded down.

1:00pm-4:00pm – Baby Bro and I load the truck with approximately 70 boxes, two bookshelves, a night stand, a kitchen cart, and a TV stand. Process goes so amazingly smoothly that I fully expect the truck to explode tomorrow morning.

Wednesday, June […]

Eventually, I will put the entire auto industry out of business

I make my final car payment this month, just in time to watch my vehicle’s manufacturer spin out of orbit. I’ve read a couple articles about what’s happening to Saturn, and I still don’t understand what’s going on. From what I have been able to decipher, GM will continue to make and sell Saturns until 2011, since that is how far in advance they have planned. After that… they will either sell the brand to someone else or use the network of dealerships to sell lots of different brands of cars under one roof? I think? Maybe? Yes? No?

It’s all rather sad, because I love my Saturn. Yes, it only has 4 cylinders. Yes, it barely made it up the Appalachian mountains. But it is fuel efficient and shiny and the back seats fold down and I have a CD player and a cassette deck (for my MP3 player’s car kit) and it carts me around town, which is all I really need. It gets the job done and it only cost about $8,000 and […]

A cautionary tale: Why you should ALWAYS look at the map beforehand (preferably with elevation)

I had intended to write an entry today about the annual Quaker Oatmeal Festival held in Lafayette, Colorado. I imagined posting images of the world’s largest topping bar and telling you everything I learned about acupressure at the health fair. However, it was not to be. I was unable to attend the Oatmeal Festival due to unforeseen circumstances, namely THE SUPER SCARY MOUNTAIN PASS OF DOOM.

My brother, Jim, and I landed in Denver Friday night as the sun was setting, picked up our rental SUV and headed out for Breckenridge, Colorado, where we would be staying for 3 nights. Breckenridge is 80 miles west of downtown Denver and the oatmeal festival is about 20 miles north of downtown Denver. That meant there was a whole lot of driving to be done that evening, the next morning, and directly after the festival. In retrospect, I should have more carefully examined the itinerary and requested that we stay in Denver the first night. However, I’ve been suffering from constant chronic pain lately, and I’m lucky to be […]

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Man looking into telescope

Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JennetteFulda.com now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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