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The Chapel Hill Chronicles: Catch a Tiger by its tail

This is Tiger:

Tiger is the neighborhood cuddle whore. Tiger does not care who you are or what you’re doing, he just wants to cuddle. Now. CUDDLE HIM, NOW! He does not care if you and your brother are carrying a heavy piece of furniture up the steps. He will fling himself directly in your path on the stairwell because he knows no one would step on a kitty so cute and lovable. So please put down the IKEA and cuddle him. NOW.

The first time I met Tiger, he followed me up the front steps and lodged himself between me and my front door, begging for cuddles. He did not have a collar, so I did not know if he had an owner he was cheating on for lovin’. I petted his pretty orange furs, told him he was pretty, and then dashed in my front door and washed my hands immediately. I didn’t want the feline contingent of the Fulda family to be jealous or to get fleas.

This week, Tiger stopped by for some cuddling […]

Lock up your china!

Below is my most favorite-est mug in the whole, wide world in a photo I snapped earlier this month while testing my new shock-proof, water-proof, gravity-proof, Jennette-proof camera. (Thanks, Dad!) I love this mug so much for reasons I don’t quite understand. Perhaps it is the translucent coating that makes it seem blue and purple at the same time. Perhaps it is the smartly curved lip and the easy to hold handle. Perhaps it is the weight and the size and some undefinable quality of love injected into it by its creator. But let it be known, I do love this mug.

And here is my mug as of this morning:

If my little Java Bean were not a total cuddle monkey, I would have to get rid of him. Sometimes I suspect he is a sociopath who quietly manipulates me with snuggles and nose lickings only so he can systematically break every piece of china and glassware I own without fear of reproof. My Beanie Baby is a total mischief-maker, but he also cuddles my face […]

This is why you should trim your cat’s hind claws

I woke up this morning to a cat crawling on my face, as I do many a morning when I am sleepy and the cats are hungry and we battle it out to see whose superlative will win. Today Java Bean’s back leg stepped on my nose and he dug his claw into my skin and left a two-inch long cut under my right eye.

It HURT. It was bleeding. I grabbed some toilet paper from the bathroom and applied pressure for 10 minutes. Then I cleaned it with hydrogen peroxide. Then I Googled “how to prevent scarring” where I learned that I should keep the wound clean, moist and avoid direct sunlight.

I’m not sure how I’m going to get a bandage on this thing, but I’m going to the drug store to see if recent innovations in bandage technology have provided a solution. I’m not that vain of a person, but I’d rather not have a scar on my nose for the rest of my life. If I do, I’m going to have to come […]

Calling all cat psychologists

Sometimes at night, a minute or two after I’ve turned off all the lights and climbed into bed, I hear a sad mewing coming from the hallway. It is not the happy meow I get when I come home or the demanding meow when Krupke swipes my nose to demand food. It’s that sad, lost child, meow.

When I go out into the hallway to see if Krupke needs something, I turn on the lights to find him holding the feather toy in his mouth which is attached to a piece of string and a plastic wand. He’s also kneading his front legs back and forth. When he sees me he’ll stop meowing, pause for a moment, and then run the other way as I approach, either under a table or behind the couch.

I’ve tried picking him up and taking him back to my bedroom, but then he just skedaddles the other way. I’ve tried just talking to him in the dark from my bedroom when the meowing starts. This usually silences him for a moment […]

Kitties know best

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

I’ve been busy lately, but I didn’t want to leave you blogless today. Instead, I will simply share with you a method of getting a flat stomach that is much easier and cheaper than acai berries or hoodia! (PS – That’s not Krupke, just a random Internet cat.)

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Man looking into telescope

Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JennetteFulda.com now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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