I think I might have to become a workaholic.
When I’m bored, I eat. It’s my favorite hobby. Sometimes I come home from work and none of the 36 books I’ve checked out from the library look interesting. None of the dozens of TV shows I have to watch look appealing. None of the projects on my “To Do” list look worthy to be crossed off. So I eat. And then I eat some more. And then I finish it off by eating again.
But sometimes at work I’ll get absorbed by a project like water sucked into a sponge. Then I’ll look at my watch and it’s five o’clock and I haven’t eaten my afternoon snack. I have to stick my apple and cheese sticks back in the fridge when I come home. My brain gets so preoccupied that it forgets to tell my stomach to eat. Who hasn’t gotten hungry after watching a burger commercial on television? This is just the inverse. If I forget to think about food I only get hungry when I actually need to eat.
Thus, I have to keep busy. For the rest of my life.
Which sounds totally exhausting, but could also be extremely fulfilling if I don’t work myself to death. I love that feeling after I’ve made something, be it a beautiful blog entry or an ugly crocheted envelope holder. It’s the high of accomplishment and creation. It’s the satisfaction of a sense of purpose, even if that purpose is just to clean that gross grease stain off of the stove top. I used to float through life, not knowing what I wanted to major in or what job I wanted or what I was going to do with all this time I’d been given. I’m still not sure about that last bit, and I’m sure there will always be periods of uncertainty and fear about what I should do with my existence, but it’s so much better to live a life full of accomplishments than a life full of potential. They might be stupid little accomplishments I write down on the list just so I can cross them off, like “Take a shower” or “Eat breakfast.” Or they can be bigger things like “Lose 200 pounds.” But they’re all accomplishments and they’re all mine and they only happen if I work for them and keep myself busy. They also have the nice side effect of keeping me thinner.
So, I’m going to try to keep myself busy for the next 50 or 60 or 70 years. I haven’t planned my whole schedule yet, but there will probably be lots of writing and running and dancing in the living room when no one is looking. Just as long as I’m not eating and eating and eating to occupy the time. Though that’s okay too on some occasions, as long as I follow it up with a Cha Cha in the kitchen.
