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Leave them gasping for air

I don’t remember the exact words I used to introduce myself at my BlogHer panel last weekend, but I do remember how everyone reacted. I said something like, “Hi, I’m Jennette Fulda. I blog at pastaqueen.com. Three and a half years ago I weighed almost 400 pounds.”

That’s when everyone gasped so hard I was nearly sucked off the stage.

I just flicked my eyes back and forth, furrowed my brow and thought, “What? Didn’t you read my bio?” I don’t know why I spent so much time deliberating over what to say in that silly little paragraph about myself if no one was going to read it. Now I wish I’d claimed to be the last Amazon warrior from Themyscira or that I’d been raised by alien goat people instead of whatever I ended up writing.

I’ve told my story so many times now that I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. I used to weigh 372 pounds, I lost a lot of weight, my flight leaving for Indy was delayed, I had some oatmeal […]

Oh, right, I have a blog

It’s odd that the one thing that stops me from blogging for almost a week is a blogging conference. The busier my life gets, the less time I have to write about it. Let’s just stick to bullet points so I can take another nap while my body tries to figure out what time zone I am in.

In San Francisco they paint their houses pink, purple, orange, blue and all sorts of beautiful colors. If I see a purple house in Indiana I automatically wonder, “Was purple paint on sale that week?”

I could not get over how many hills there are in San Francisco. The world has a third dimension, did you know that? Every time I’d drive up a street I’d say, “Wow, look at that hill!” Indiana is so flat that it was shocking to be able to see buildings rising up above and below me on sharp inclines.

I now have 4 USB flash drives. Thank you, swag tables.

My panel went very well. I did not fall off the stage and I kept […]

Welcome BlogHer readers

Today I’m speaking on the Blog to Book panel at the 2008 BlogHer conference, though hopefully none of you are reading this while I’m speaking on the panel because that’s kind of rude. Eyes to the front please. Oh my God, everyone’s staring at me! Look away, look away!

If you’re stopping by for the first time, hopefully my blog will make you laugh your ass off. It did that to me. I lost 190-something pounds over two years (via diet and exercise) and blogged about it along the way because typing burns calories. These days I blog about my life through the filter of health, fitness and weight maintenance. Some of my favorite posts include:

Definitely not the tea room

My first half-marathon: What, no bagels?

I support your right to look good

Feeling strangely fine

…more greatest hits

My book Half-Assed: A Weight-Loss Memoir was published by Seal Press in May 2008. You can read a series I wrote about my blog to book experience on my book blog, appropriately titled Blog to Book. If I don’t see you […]

Hotter than I thought

“Hey, beautiful!” I heard a man yell. I kept walking towards downtown. “What’s going on?” I slowed down and looked towards the voice yelling these words and saw a 20-something, man dressed in street clothes crossing the street, arms open, looking at me. It then occurred to me that, oh my, he was talking to me.

This left me greatly confused.

I gave the man a befuddled look, as though he’d just asked me where the library was in Portuguese. I kept waiting for him to follow up with, “Can you spare some change?” but he didn’t, so I kept walking in the other direction. As I continued down the sidewalk, I came upon another man who looked at me and said, “Hey, how you doing today?” Dear Lord, why were people being so friendly on the street? What was this, the deep south? Here in the Midwestern states we typically ignore our fellow pedestrians and let them live out their hollow lives in peace, thank you very much.

I still don’t know why I suddenly attracted the […]

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Man looking into telescope

Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JennetteFulda.com now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

Lick the Produce: Odd things I've put in my mouth
Half-Marathon: Less fun than it looks
European Vacation

"What distinguishes us one from another is our dreams and what we do to make them come about." - Joseph Epstein

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