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Happy birthday to me! Thirty trips around the sun and not done spinning yet

Photo by bicameral / by Attribution 2.0 Generic CC

I dashed to the room where my smartphone was blaring a sitar ringtone, and pressed the red button, happy that I’d managed to locate the device before voice mail picked up. Well, I was happy until I realized I’d hung up on the caller, which is what the red button does, which you’d think I would know after having had the phone for three months.

So I opened the call log and returned the call to hear my brother’s voice on the line saying, “Hello?…..Hello?…..Is anyone there?” as I filled in the ellipsis with my own responses that he couldn’t hear with my mute button on. I figured out how to unmute the phone, but only after he hung up. So I tried calling him back again only to get a confused, Spanish-speaking person on the other end of the line, who I knew was not my brother because my brother took German in high school, not Spanish.

Then, finally, I managed to call my brother back at the […]

Let them eat cake

I am still getting back into the swing of things post-holidays. I don’t remember much from the time after I passed out into a sugar-induced coma. However, as the pictures below show, I was present for the lighting on my mother’s 60th birthday cake on Sunday.

Here we are lighting the cake.

And here we are still lighting the cake.

And here we are again, still lighting the cake, watching the frosting start to melt.

And finally, the cake is lit! My mother blew out the candles in one breath, proving that old age has not affected her lung capacity. Happy birthday, Mom! Here’s to 60 more years!

Less than a year away

Yesterday was my 29th birthday (thanks in advance for the well wishes), which means a year from yesterday will be…the one year anniversary of my 29th birthday! Actually, this is more commonly referred to as your 30th birthday and while I know this is considered a BIG DEAL, I am not all that concerned about it at this moment.

I figure people freak out over their 30th birthday for two reasons: 1) They look at their lives and are unhappy with what they’ve accomplished or failed to accomplish. 2) They fear old age, illness and their ultimate mortality. As for number 1, I am pretty happy with what I’ve accomplished at this point in my life, so no worries there. As for number 2 – HA! Illness? Old age? We are old friends. We have drinks every Friday night together.

I am always befuddled when a 28-year-old friend of mine tells me, “I found a white hair today!” as if this is shocking information. I found my first white hair when I was 21, and my older […]

The day of the donut burger

Yesterday at work we made hamburgers with Krispy Kreme donuts as the buns. I don’t know why. These things just happen. One minute you’re talking about chocolate-covered bacon and the next you’re daring your boss to cut off two years of his life in two Krispy, greasy bites.

A lot of supplies are required to make donut burgers: a griddle, glazed donuts, ground beef, bacon, cheese, eggs and of course lettuce and tomatoes. Don’t forget your veggies! If you ever make these at your own workplace, a fried egg works well to cover up the donut hole. Don’t forget to toast your donut on the griddle for extra crispiness! But have thick plates and lots of paper towels because these are prone to drip.

I myself did not have a donut burger because the day before that we had frosted carrots for my birthday.

See? There are twenty-eight carrot flakes on top of a carrot cake, and they even spelled my name right. My coworkers are awesome. I’m going to miss them when they all have coronaries.

A history of cake

I have a lot of photos of myself sitting in front of cake. I noticed this when I dug out my mother’s photos albums and boxes of unsorted prints looking for a good “before” photo earlier this year. “No wonder I was so fat. I was always eating cake!” I thought. Then I realized that, no, I wasn’t always eating cake. We just always took pictures of me on my birthday, at which we always ate cake.

These pictures do provide a good timeline of how I’ve aged over the years, and what my taste in pastries was at the time. So today, I give you a history of cake.

Age: 10

Wearing a corduroy jumper made by mother. I was currently obsessed with headbands. Looks like we got out the fancy metal plates for the occasion! I love how my hands are encircling the cake, as if to say, “Mine, all mine!”

Age: 14

Wearing my marching band T-shirt and about to devour a Tazmanian Devil cake.

Age: 15

Wearing one of those long t-shirts we used to tie in a […]

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JennetteFulda.com now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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