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The past psycho cookie monster

Photo by Sixth Lie / by NCND 2.0 CC

I looked up my old post about LASIK surgery recently so I could give the link to a friend who’s considering the procedure. I’m not sure what word best describes the feeling I get when reading old posts, but it’s similar to the feeling I get when looking at old yearbook photos. It’s some combination of surprised/awkward/insightful/nostalgic. Surprawkinosalgic? Take note, Merriam-Webster, the first usage of that word started here!

I haven’t read through the entire blog since I wrote Half-Assed, and I don’t have any plans (or the time) to do so any time soon. Yet it’s surprawkinosalgic to see how my writing tone and approach have evolved over the years, and even more surprawkinosalgic to see how I myself have changed .

This section jumped out at me from the LASIK post, which I wrote before the bit about a laser burning out my eyeballs:

It was a pretty fun waiting room to be in since everyone was there by choice and was going to experience an improvement […]

You can always impress someone

I had intended to run for 20 minutes but decided 18 minutes was good enough because otherwise I’d be scraping my lung off the carpet after I threw it up. I was a little disappointed with myself. It was only 6 months ago that I ran a half-marathon and now I am struggling to run a half-5K. If you don’t use it, you lose it, unless of course we’re talking about weight, in which case you gain it.

“I don’t know how you do that,” said the 50-or-60-something man who was running on the treadmill next to me in my apartment’s exercise room. In light of the current economic crisis, I’ve decided to ditch my YMCA membership and use my complex’s resources instead. I’ll just have to cross my fingers that no one is using the elliptical machine when I want it and remind myself that a little patience will save hundreds of dollars a year.

“I don’t know how *I* did that,” I replied as I stepped off the treadmill to stretch. I’d interspersed my running […]

Rule the court

Last night I discovered tennis is a lot more fun when you actually bat the ball back and forth with your partner. It’s far more entertaining than sending balls ricocheting onto the next court or running after wayward balls mumbling, “Sorry!” after missing an easy shot. Maybe I won’t give it up after my lessons end after all.

I no longer completely suck at tennis. I now only mostly suck. When practicing my serve, I can toss the ball in the air in front of me and whack it, instead of accidentally tossing it behind my head like a bad juggler. We played some easy doubles games and I was able to hit the ball more often than I didn’t. During one game called “Kings and Queens of the Court” my partner and I were able to get three points in a row and defeat the reigning kings to take over their spot. I will try to ignore the patriarchal implications that it is better to be the king than the queen and just be happy […]

Dancing with the Athletes

My most favorite show featuring sequins and feather boas and bad puns is back on the air. Yes, Dancing with the Stars is broadcasting live every Monday and Tuesday night. I think my fanaticism for the program is waning a bit, like the third year of a marriage where we’re starting to get used to each other. I’ve missed a couple of episodes already because the two hour length leaves my attention waning. I keep thinking “I should really be exercising or writing instead. Or better yet, dancing!” Then I leap up off the couch and do an imitation of the mambo that causes my cat to scamper out of the room in fear. He evidently fears flailing arms and booty shaking more than plastic bags.

One of the things I love about Dancing with the Stars is the athlete competitors. They always have an awesome attitude. Jerry Rice, Emmitt Smith, and now Laila Ali have all come in with a positive outlook and ready to work despite the fact that they had as much hip […]

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Man looking into telescope

Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JennetteFulda.com now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

Lick the Produce: Odd things I've put in my mouth
Half-Marathon: Less fun than it looks
European Vacation

"What distinguishes us one from another is our dreams and what we do to make them come about." - Joseph Epstein

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