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Moving Diary: Settling in. BEEP!

Friday, July 2, 2010

9:30am – Sleep in because I can. Eventually get up. Pour the cat food and the coffee. Try not to consume the wrong one.

10:00am – Call the water, gas and electric companies to get utilities set up in my name.

11:15am – Drive to grocery store next to post office to scope out PO Boxes. Enter the Food Lion and go to the customer service counter to get my MVP card so I can get deals and they can overanalyze my oatmeal purchasing habits.

11:25am – Buy another bottle of wasp killer, just in case. You can never have too much wasp killer. DIE WASPS, DIE!!

11:45am – Return home. Home! This is my home now! How cool!

12:40pm – Leave for Big Bro’s house. On the drive over, I realize I will have to reset all my radio presets. Such a pain.

1:00pm – Arrive at Big Bro’s house and sign up for cable internet installation using his secure internet. They can’t come out until next Saturday. SATURDAY!! Eight days from now!! How dare they […]

Moving Diary: Moving in and moving up (the stairs)

Thursday, July 1, 2010

8:30am – Wake up, clean up, and eat up. Coffee can’t erase my tiredness. Wish I could sign lease from bed.

9:10am – Leave for rental office.

9:40am – Arrive at rental office. Can’t find parking space in front of building, so I park in adjacent lot that has signs threatening to tow me. Cross my fingers that car will still be there in an hour.

9:43am – Enter office, which is busy with staff doing three things at once. All the students are moving out of town, leaving dozens of properties open, leading to increased activity. I pet the office poodle and tell her she should help pick up the slack by learning to type.

10:00am – Read through lease, but stop to say hi to new landlord who has same name as my neurologist. Uncertain who will be charging me more money.

10:30am – Finish signing contract indebting me thousands of dollars over the next year. Try to remember all the rules about sorting recycling, noise levels, and parking spots, but know I am destined […]

Settling into the new place

The best thing about moving is the magical time period when you get to imagine how much better the new place will be. It won’t have any of those problems you had at your old place, like the guy below you who watched movies on his surround sound system at midnight or the dishwasher that didn’t really wash the dishes. The new place will be perfect and amazing and so much better! This magical time period is similar to the honeymoon period at a new job when you have yet to learn the unique ways in which everyone is fucked up and how exactly the dysfunctional relationships between employees dysfunction.

I’ve been at my new apartment for almost two months now, and there is a lot to love about it, but I’ve also discovered the things not to like. For instance, all the neighborhood kids play in the green space behind our building and I get to see and hear them from the full view of the sliding glass door. People also walk their dogs there […]

The office

There is much to like about the new apartment. The cats have more space, so they reenact Roman Gladiator fights far less frequently. The kitchen has a dishwasher that actually cleans dishes instead of leaving spots and clumps on all the plates for me to pick off with my fingernails. Most of all, I love having an office:

And, ok, occasionally that guy who wears Dr. Pepper pajama pants and plays his Nintendo while he walks the dog goes traipsing past the window. And, yes, the neighborhood kids like to play baseball or soccer or ultimate Frisbee or whatever games kids play these days in the patch of grass between apartments. But this is why they invented curtains and venetian blinds and window decals.

Yes, I know the curtain rod is bowing. I have a metal rod to replace the plastic one with, but I haven’t hung it up yet. Otherwise I have all I need to work here: a laptop, a monitor, a stereo system, and a new printer/copier/scanner. Printers sure have come a long way […]

Get out of my yard!

A husky man with a little dog walks past my back porch every night at 7:15pm. Sometimes he is reading a book, other times he is playing a hand-held video game which I know is not called a Gameboy, but I want to call a Gameboy because I was born in 1980. Usually he is wearing a T-shirt, flip-flops and baggy gym shorts. Regardless of his outfit, every night at 7:15pm I burst into uncontrollable giggles, because it is very odd to have a strange man who is oblivious to my existence appear within 3 feet of me and then disappear as quickly as he came. I almost expect him to stroll through the sliding glass door, look up in a confused manner and mumble, “How’d I end up in this lady’s living room?” Then the cats would attack.

My new apartment has a back porch which faces the back of another row of apartments in the complex, divided by a stretch of grass which probably has a proper name defined in dictionaries, but I don’t […]

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JennetteFulda.com now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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