PastaQueen is now an archive, but I am still alive so I can be contacted without a ouija board. Before contacting me, read and understand these two points:

1. I cannot promise to reply to your email. (I say that mostly to absolve myself of any guilt I would otherwise feel if I never get back to you, but I try my best.)
2. Please, PLEASE, PLEASE read the FAQ first. You don’t even have to read the answers, just the questions. Pretend you’re playing Jeopardy!

Guest posts, advertising, and linking

• Do you accept guest posts for your site?

  This is a personal blog, so no, I don’t accept guest posts unless you are my clone.

  If you email me asking to guest post anyway, I am going to troll you. I will tell you I would love for you to write a post and I already have a topic in mind. I will ask you to come to this page and write a 300-word essay about why you didn’t read this FAQ. If that’s how you ended up here, it’s your own damn fault. You were warned. If you wanted me to take 30 seconds to read your email you should have taken 30 seconds to skim this FAQ first.

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• I’d like to send you a product or a book to review. Is that cool?

  I no longer do reviews, but you can still send me stuff if you really, really like me.

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• I would like to advertise on your site. How do I do that?

  Information on how to boost the economy via my checking account is available here.

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• Is it okay if I link to your site from my blog?

  Yes, that’s perfectly ok. If you do link to me, feel free to email me at to let me know.

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• Can we exchange links?

  No, we can’t. Please don’t ask. My finger gets exhausted dragging your request to the trash can. Information on how to buy a link can be found here.

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Weight-loss, health, and fitness

• I have a question about loose skin.

  You’re not the only one. Read my entry about the state of my skin.

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• I want to start running. How’d you do that?

  The idiot’s way, but I wrote an entry about running so you don’t have to injure yourself like I did. My friend Shauna offers an excellent beginner’s running course online at Up and Running (affiliate link).

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• How do you stay motivated?

  Screw motiviation. I work out and eat right because I have to, not because I always want to. Read more about my philosophy in the entry Motivation Shmotivation.

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• I have a question about the South Beach Diet I want to ask you.

  Oh, well I’m going to google for the answer, so it’s probably faster if you just do that yourself. I’m not as much of an expert on the South Beach Diet as people seem to think I am. I’m not a dietician or nutritionist, so I don’t feel qualified to prescribe meal plans either.

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• How did you set your goal weight?

  There were several factors I took into account. Learn more about it here.

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Personal and other stuff

• Can I give you advice on how to cut your hair, where to get your eyebrows plucked and what to wear?

  No, thanks. I walk around this ugly on purpose.

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• Hey, didn’t you have a headache? Do you still have it?

  Yes, I do. Let’s ignore it and maybe it will go away.

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• About that headache. Have you tried-?

  Yes. Yes, I have.

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• I really love your blog and your book! You must think I’m a stalker.

  No, I don’t think you’re a stalker (unless that was you parked in the red Honda eating pistachios outside my apartment all night). Just shoot me an email if you want. If I don’t respond it’s nothing personal. I can’t promise to respond to all my email.

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Okay, now that you’ve checked the FAQ and know I can’t promise to reply to you, contact me at blog@pastaqueen.com

If you want to send me atoms instead of bits, my snail mail address is:

Jennette Fulda
1075 Broad Ripple Ave
Suite 155
Indianapolis, IN 46220