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The Chapel Hill Chronicles: Catch a Tiger by its tail

This is Tiger:

Please cuddle me. NOW.

Tiger is the neighborhood cuddle whore. Tiger does not care who you are or what you’re doing, he just wants to cuddle. Now. CUDDLE HIM, NOW! He does not care if you and your brother are carrying a heavy piece of furniture up the steps. He will fling himself directly in your path on the stairwell because he knows no one would step on a kitty so cute and lovable. So please put down the IKEA and cuddle him. NOW.

The first time I met Tiger, he followed me up the front steps and lodged himself between me and my front door, begging for cuddles. He did not have a collar, so I did not know if he had an owner he was cheating on for lovin’. I petted his pretty orange furs, told him he was pretty, and then dashed in my front door and washed my hands immediately. I didn’t want the feline contingent of the Fulda family to be jealous or to get fleas.

This week, Tiger stopped by for some cuddling as I was unloading my groceries. This was when I saw he’d gotten a collar, which had his name on it. It also said, “While I like to roam, I have a home” with the telephone number included. This made me smile, because I am a sucker for a good couplet. I was not surprised that such a cuddle whore had found a home, but I was glad to learn his name. And now if I ever need some good kitty cuddling, I know what phone number to call. (Don’t tell my kitties!)

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Tish • August 17, 2010 at 9:31 am

Very cute!


Lanie • August 17, 2010 at 10:05 am

I’m thinking about becoming a cuddle whore myself. I’d like to make a little extra money.


Astrid • August 17, 2010 at 11:11 am

Aww! My cat is the same exact way.


Rachel • August 17, 2010 at 2:01 pm

Cute couplet! I may have to copy that for my own cuddle whore who wanders off regularly to make the rounds of the neighborhood.


Lindsay • August 17, 2010 at 2:20 pm

My kitty isn’t allowed outside…I fear he will get lost. But he himself is a cuddle whore just as much indoors as any outdoor kitty would be. As soon as he sees you walk in the door it’s all “Meow, mew, meow meow meow” *rub your legs*get in your way*trip you* “Meow meow mew mew mew meow” until you bed over and rub his belly and give him food.

This is his favorite place to be:


Lindsay • August 17, 2010 at 2:21 pm

@Lindsay – I meant to add a photo. Here’s the link:


Dee • August 17, 2010 at 2:39 pm

That would be a great tag to put on a boyfriend!


Cheryl • August 17, 2010 at 4:19 pm

I just love a fat cat, don’t you? There is something so satisfying about rubbing a big ole belly.


Becca • August 17, 2010 at 6:50 pm

I love a cuddly orange puss. I think I owned the world’s only orange tabby that did NOT like to cuddle. She loved me and would cuddle me, and tolerated a select few other people, but actively disliked the rest of the world.


Laura • August 17, 2010 at 8:17 pm

That’s one fat kitty. Looks like everyone in the neighb feeds that cat!


Merry • August 17, 2010 at 9:10 pm

Sounds like this cat is a highly trained secret agent.
He lurks around until you’re carrying a heavy bookcase upstairs, and then makes his move. Pret-ty suspicious behavior, if you ask me. (Or, more likely, if you don’t.)

I predict that you will find this cat to be the personal property of a highly successful personal injury attorney who makes his/her/its living suing apartment complexes for unsafe stairway conditions.


Linda L • August 17, 2010 at 10:52 pm

I had a summer of yellow cats, spaying on my dime all of the girls. Only one allowed petting. My Tortie was a cuddle whore when she was labeled a stray. When she became a spayed house cat, she terrorized the GSD and took over. No cuddling now, just on demand petting allowed. Cats are great. creatures.


Mrs. Thighs • August 17, 2010 at 11:49 pm

Awww… he’s adorable. Do you think he’ll ever get to befriend your two kitties or would that be too much cuteness for one household?


Minda • August 18, 2010 at 8:17 pm

@Dee – Giggle


Stop Dog Barking • August 22, 2010 at 5:57 pm

I will not say how much I hate cats but looking at Tiger she really needs a big hug and a cuddle. It’s nice know that things like her only wishes attention and love.


Jean • August 27, 2010 at 6:57 am

This looks EXACTLY like my Chase-cat, belly and all – except for the what appears to be a bobbed tail. When I woke up this morning, we were spooning. He’ll drop on the floor to have his belly rubbed by the cable guy. Orange boys are the best cuddlers.


Fat Grump • September 3, 2010 at 11:08 am

@Jean –

What a gorgeous cat. (I love the way Americans call ginger cats ‘orange’. ) I have told my Ginger boy that he is orange – because he is, on reflection. I also love the expression ‘cuddle whore’. My boy has been out all day. I suspect he too has been lying at the feet of a stranger hoping they’ll find him cute.

Thanks…the post made me laugh. (I am going through the archives for inspiration..PQ I read you years ago and always vowed that I too would lose weight. I am now trying…sort of.)


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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JennetteFulda.com now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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