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PastaQueen

You'll laugh you ass off. (I did.)

Soon they’ll be calling me ma’am

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It is a bit disturbing that all these Olympic athletes I see on TV are younger than me. There is 23-year-old snowboarder, Shaun White, and 25-year-old skier, Lindsey Vonn, and 27-year-old speed skater, Apolo Ohno, who is apparently an old, old man. I bet he is sponsored by the AARP. When I watch the events, a voice inside of me chants, “Go…29-year-olds!” while wondering if there are any 29-year-olds competing in the games. They might have been relegated to seniors competitions at this point.

But as I contemplate my old age and the fact that I am probably too old to win a gold metal in luge, I am not too upset. A few weeks ago, as I exited a coffee shop, a teenage girl walked up to me and asked if I had change for the bus. She and her friend appeared well-groomed and sober, so I was 95% certain I was not giving them change to buy crack cocaine on the next corner. I emptied my change purse into her palm and wished her luck, remembering the days when I had to wait for the bus. It was boring, sometimes cold, and the ride home was always long and usually stinky.

A few minutes later, I was driving back home when I passed a car stalled in an intersection. Its occupants hopped out, all of them teenage kids, and pushed the car out of the path of oncoming traffic as if this were a normal happenstance. I looked at those kids and their baggy army camouflage pants, and I thought of the girl begging for bus money on the corner and thought, “You know, I am glad I am not a teenager anymore.” Then I drove home in the reliable car I bought with my own money, and not with spare change panhandled on the corner.

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  3. I thought I was rocking some natural highlights in my blonde hair. Then I looked closer and realized I had a whole crop of white hairs!

    *sigh*

  4. I used to watch the olympics as a kid in the eighties and literally get depressed because I was too old to start training to be a gymnast. Never mind that I was already 5’1 at age 10. I didn’t realize my height would affect my chances, I just knew that I had already missed the boat. Oh, and I was mad at my parents too for not pushing me into something earlier!

  8. 10 years from now you’ll be blogging about what those pesky kids in their 20’s are doing. It’s all relative. I’m turning 39 in a month! (holy crap did I just admit that!) and I don’t feel any different. I think of a 40 year old as an “adult”. My parents friends and collegues were “adults”. Certainly me with my husband of 13 years and my 3 kids can’t be in that classification, can I? It’s all scary no matter what age you are.

  11. I remember the very first time i felt old was when I realized I was older than Miss America. She was 20. :(

  12. I thought this would cheer you up re: age of Olympic athletes, from http://www.sacultura.com/Mexican_skier_51_is_oldest_competitor.html

    The oldest competitor at this year’s Winter Olympic Games is a Mexican-born skier who’s a descendent of a European royal family.

    Alpine skier Hubertus von Hohenlohe, 51, is representing Mexico at the 2010 Vancouver Games. He’s set to compete in two events — the men’s giant slalom on Feb. 21 and the men’s slalom on Feb. 27.

    Vancouver marks the fifth Olympics for von Hohenlohe, who also qualified for the 2006 Winter Games, but did not compete there because Mexico chose not to send him. He’s the only athlete representing Mexico in Vancouver, and carried his homeland’s flag at the Game’s opening ceremonies.

    Von Hohenlohe’s bio reads like that of a fictional international playboy character. He’s a businessman, artist, photographer and pop singer. He speaks three languages and has had a book of his photos published in Europe, where he makes his home in the German principality of Liechtenstein.

    Born in Mexico City, his paternal grandmother’s birthplace, von Hohenlohe is a descendent of a reigning dynasty of a former principality in what is now Germany. He founded the Mexican Ski Federation in 1981.

    Read more about von Hohenlohe at his Web site, hubertushohenlohe.com.

  13. Ha ha!!! I know what you mean though. I just turned 32 a few weeks ago and it’s no longer “I just turned 30 or I’m almost 30” now it’s “I’m nearing my mid-30’s” and what the hell happened to the last 10-15 years of my life!!!!

    And P.S. even though I’m older than Apollo and I’m happily married, I still have a thing for him. LOL

  14. S’funny you should say that…

    Y’see, you’re mentioned on Jack Sh*t’s current post (actually, it’s a guest post by the Anti-Jared, but it’s on Jack’s blog), in a parody of the song, “Walking In Memphis.”

    As part of your mention, they’ve replaced the line, “Tell me are you a Christian, and I said, ‘Ma’am, I am tonight!”

    with

    “Tell me are you a weight loss blogger, and I said, ‘Jennette, I am tonight!” So they might not be calling you ma’am, but they’ve replaced “ma’am” with your name (sorry if I spelled it wrong, btw).

    I just found that funny. :)

  15. I feel your pain! I was watching the ladies figure skating short program last night. One girl that was skating was 28. When the commentators mentioned her age, it was implied that 28 was ANCIENT. Then it hit me that I’m 31. If 28 is ancient, what is 31? One slip away from a hip fracture, I guess.

  17. I am a 20-something, and I find myself saying that to 15-19 year olds LOL. I was raised to be very independent and I bought my own slightly reliable car and pay my own bills and don’t live at home, but I can’t wait to be a little bit older and wiser, out of college with a better job so I can afford better things like my own house =)

  18. I think only in the Olympics is late 20s and early 30s considered old. Considering how taxing it must be both mentally and physically to compete in the Olympics, I can see why it’s like that. I think there’s a bobsledder who’s in her 30s and I’ve heard about the Alpine skier in his 50s (I know someone mentioned him in an earlier comment), but most of us have missed the Olympics by many years. I think watching the summer Olympics is worse, particularly the gymnastics… Oh well, in the grand scheme of thing, being in your late 20s and 30s is still very young. :)

  22. I got my first gray hair at 14.

    I kind of liked it until I turned 37, when I said “f*ck this” and dumped a bottle of Clairol Dark Warm Brown temporary coloring on my head. It was a revelation. I had my elementary-school hair back, at least for 2 weeks…

  24. It’s weird…I’m 22 and I still feel like when people dis teenagers they’re talking about me… I know I’m only 2 years out of that category, but I’m not a teenager! why do I still think of myself as one??

  25. The general thought that hovers in the back of my mind while I’m watching Olympics and they’re talking about the kids’ age is, “OMG, what have I accomplished with my life?!? Nada!!!”

  26. I would ask something about if it’s possible to cross post this on something, but in reality what I would like to do is PASTE THIS AROUND THE WORLD. I can’t imagine actually going through any of the foolishness I went through when I was younger another time. I adore getting to decide what gets paid and when and what to buy and what to drive. Youth is great, but control of my life is much, much better.

  27. It’s seriously crazy how YOUNG everyone is nowadays! My daughter’s high school principal is just barely out of high school age. I thought you had to have some EXPERIENCE for a job like that!

    Someone I’m also the 2nd oldest person in the room where I work. Sheesh.

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