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PastaQueen

You'll laugh you ass off. (I did.)

Upchuck update

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Monday night, my nausea finally went away, either on its own or because I threw everything but the kitchen sink at it. (And if I really thought the kitchen sink would have had an effect, I would have thrown that too.)

The headache clinic I go to has an in-patient program that I haven’t done, but I have heard about. Their approach is to pump you full of lots of different drugs until something breaks your headache. I decided this was a good approach to take for my nausea too, so I took every single over-the-counter remedy I’d heard of for nausea, all at once.

First, I dumped a teaspoon of ginger into my vanilla yogurt and ate it. Then I went to the Kroger pharmacy and bought Nauzene tablets which I ate in the parking lot. When they failed to work in four minutes like the box promised, I started chewing the Spearment gum I’d also bought and drove across the street to CVS where I purchased Dramamine. I tossed that back in the parking lot and drove home, where I made some peppermint tea that I’d also bought at Kroger. Then, I told my roommate everything I’d taken in case I needed to be carted off to the emergency room. Then I proceeded to chew the entire pack of gum in an hour.

And then my nausea went away! I don’t know if it was scared off by one or all of the above treatments, or if it finally petered out on its own. I don’t care. I’m just glad I don’t feel like barfing anymore because three days of that was completely, awful, though ultimately profitable for the mint industry.

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  4. Now you can empathize with all the pregnant ladies out there with morning sickness – All.Day.Long… (hand raised)

    Seriously – glad you feel better.

  5. Blech. When I was pregnant with my first (so I wasn’t sick, but I know how you were feeling), I was nauseated all the time. Seriously, I had to puke every minute of the day for 5 months. It’s the worst feeling, and I really sympathize!

  6. @Merry – It can be. It is for me. I learned that after getting back from vacation in Jamaica…I took Gravol every day, trying to make my nausea go away, and wondering why it just kept getting worse. When I mentioned this to a doctor when I got home, she said Gravol (as far as I know it’s Dramamine) can make some people sicker.

  7. and the special bonus is you now have minty fresh breath.

    Glad you are feeling better and don’t need to hit the pharmacy up again for a pregnancy test ;)

  8. I totally thought the same thing about being pregnant. I remember feeling nauseous for about 5 months solid. Gross. Glad you’re feeling better. Now watch, you’ll get the flu. :-)

  9. Glad you’re feeling better. Ginger ale, mint oil, and sustaining myself on crackers usually helps me. :)

    We have houseguests and my friend is pregnant and can barely eat anything without having to yak it up. Poor gal!

  10. There are some things, like nausea, that are so hideous, that once they go away, the relief is so great that you’re almost glad you had them, just so you can savour the pure joy of …not having them.

    But my question is….while you were nauseated, did you have a headache? Or was your brain only able to process one horror at a time?

    “Their approach is to pump you full of lots of different drugs until something breaks your headache.” I like their style! I wonder what kind of drugs they use. My sister (a life-long migraine sufferer) and I often discuss why doctors never give headache sufferers the good drugs. It’s all about various weird drugs with awful side effects that hardly ever work…where’s the morphine? The demerol? They work when you’re having a baby – surely they would work on a headache, at least for a few hours. Maybe my sister just doesn’t go to the right doctors. :0)

  13. I know you hate headache questions, but my curiosity is getting the best of me: Why haven’t you tried the in-patient program?

    *ducking*

  16. I think it’s funny that you do not want any advice on all of your illnesses, remedies, suggestion, etc., but you continually talk about them. Why don’t you find something else to write about, like your love life, your other interests, your beliefs, your city, your contributions to mankind. Give us something else besides your maladies.

  18. I almost always get nausea with my migraines. I have a standing prescription for Promethazine to help knock it out quickly. Otherwise, I’ll be nauseated for 72 hours until I actually…do the deed. It’s not good when I actually throw up my Imitrex, ya know?

    Anyways, sorry to be so graphic, but I wanted to let you know you aren’t alone.

  20. sorry you aren’t feeling well.

    if you were 180 then i’m guessing you’re around 230 now with the 50 lb gain. Funny, that’s right where I am.

    I used to read your blog about 3 years ago when you were originally losing and hit “onederland” — here’s hoping we hit it together!

    And for what it’s worth, i don’t know how you even think about dieting with headache. but what doesnt’ kill us…. :)

  22. Now I know you hate advice (no! no!…not the nigerians!!!!), but tough, you are getting some anyway.

    My mother-in-law, who knows a thing or two, and who gets nausea/dizzy headaches periodically, swears by a pharmaceutical called MECLAZINE. You have to ask the pharmacist for it, but it only costs about $6, and it works amazingly well.

  23. I think I had food poisoning Wednesday night. I don’t think I ever threw up as strenuously as that (six times at least) until everything was out of my system. Slight temp, body aches. Well, my stomach feels okay now but I’ve had a headache ever since. And I can’t stop thinking about you and your nonstop headache. This has just been two days. I don’t know how you manage.

    I found your blog a few months ago and immediately read your book. Congratulations on the five year mark. It used to be said that if you were free of cancer for five years, you were cured. Maybe that was what you were thinking of. In any case, it’s a huge accomplishment. I can only hope your headache miraculously disappears one day.

  24. PQ i read your book on the Kindle and loved it. You’re a GIFTED writer.

    i used Kindle’s autospeech function for a bit while i walked around cleaning the house. It was pretty hilarious to hear the robowoman mispronounce something like: “All the PILOTS I’d been doing meant that I could finally get my leg at a ninety degree angle to my body.”

  25. Good for you!

    I once had the nausea equivalent of your headache. It started one day and then the next and the next and.. 14 months & many medical types later I still had no idea why. And let me tell you, i had a much shorter temper as well! Anyway another downside of nausea is that it’s usually *slightly* better with food in your stomach. Specifically, carbs.. so that creates another problem, when none of your clothes fit any more.

    Anyways the nausea went away and I’ve been crazy enough to make a return visit to nausea-land for 8 months of my pregnancy! But like you’ve said before, it’s the never-ending-ness that makes chronic health troubles hardest. My pregnancy may have been the most wretched experience but it was finite!

    I hope your body gives you a break and don’t listen to those who tell you it’s all psychological! Or maybe slap them. Whichever suits at the time.

  26. When our son was hospitalized with massive dehydration due to vomitting/nauseau, the first liquid they started giving him orally was gingerale.

    Now, when he is sick, it is the first thing I get for him and start having him sip in 10 minute intervals.

    Seems to help.

  27. I did this with a cold a few weeks ago! Threw anything I could get at it – gone in two days – note, I didn’t take over the counter stuff, just home remedies/netti pot. It worked!

  28. Best thing for nausea, bar none, is Cayenne Pepper tincture – a few drops in a glass of water or seltzer works wonders. Seriously, I’ve been on the verge of hurling and slammed this stuff down and within 5 minutes the nausea has passed. Might help with the headaches…no idea. The stuff they sell at Whole Foods and most co-ops is too mild – try Dr. Foster’s Essentials online – he makes it with African Bird Peppers (hotcha!): http://www.drfostersessentials.com/store/CayenneTincture_mi.php

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