I’m riding the bus up to Chicago today to go to That Conference that I shall not name. Some of you are probably furrowing your brows and wondering, “Huh, what conference?” while the rest of you are thinking, “Oh dear Lord, would people shut up about that stupid conference already?” When I think about all the hullabaloo that arises around That Conference, I feel like Samuel L. Jackson at the end of the film Pulp Fiction where he’s yelling at Hunny Bunny to chill the fuck out while she continues to screech and prattle on hysterically. (See here, 2:50 mark. Beware massive profanity and low video resolution.) So, everybody, be cool, ok?
I have this odd sense of dread about attending That Conference this year and I’ve been trying to figure out why. I suppose it’s because at its worst, That Conference is a place where people claw each other’s eyes out for the chance at free iPods or laptops, all while screaming, “Look at me! Look at me! Are you looking at me and my free swag yet?!” It’s a place where there are massive egos, secret parties, cliques, and a room full of corporations who are sponsoring every second of breakfast, lunch and dinner, making me wonder if I’m going to meet any people at this thing or if I’m just going to be chatting with the Michelin Man and my old friend Larry, the Quaker Oats guy. It’s also the place where last year I started to spiral downward into my period of depression and binge eating due to the constant pain of my headache, using vacation as an excuse to stuff my face with as many cookies and Big Bird or Elmo cupcakes that I could find because, as I said, “Vacation calories don’t count!!!” *Nom, nom, scarf*
However, that is a pessimistic view to take and if I go there with that attitude I am bound to have a bad time. So I will try to remember what That Conference is at its best, which is a place where I meet people who blog about all sorts of interesting things like crockpots or international politics or infertility or living in Australia. It’s a chance to learn new things and hear interesting discussions at the sessions. More importantly for my business, it’s a place to make new contacts and clients. Really, it’s an opportunity to have a good time if I am open to it, so I will try to be open to it.
I will also try not to eat everything I set my eyes on. I know that no matter how hard I try not to, I’m going to overeat because that’s what I do, but I’ll try to restrain myself from eating five desserts a day this time.
BTW, if you follow me on Twitter, you can assume that the next 3-4 days of tweets are going to be really annoying if you too are not at That Conference. Consider yourself warned and read at your own risk.