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I could arrange the grocery store better than this

Awkward situation waiting to happen

I should really caption this “Awkward situation that did happen.” You know how sometimes you’ll be followed by someone who isn’t actually following you, but just happens to be going the same place as you are? Well, last Friday there was a guy at the grocery store who was shadowing me for about 20 feet as we walked past the frozen food and fish counter in tandem. I darted down this aisle to grab some tampons, figuring I’d lose him. I assumed he’d walk as briskly as possible away from the feminine hygiene products in silent horror. But no, instead he stopped directly behind me, only 3 feet away from the maxi pads.

I pretended to scan the labels, but I was completely distracted, as if his presence made me illiterate. I finally turned around to see what his damage was. That was when I saw him grab a bag of charcoal and make a hasty getaway towards the pet food section.

The store designers at Kroger seriously need to rethink the layout of aisle 11.

And how sad is it that I now carry a digital camera around in my purse just so I can photograph moments like this for my blog? This is surely one of the signs of blog addiction.

Chocolate & Vicodin: My Quest for Relief from the Headache that Wouldn't Go Away
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39 Comments

goodbyetoallfat • June 2, 2008 at 8:35 am

This is so funny! I don’t think I’ve ever come across feminine hygiene products in a shelf opposite a big masculine product like BBQ charcoal! Normally they are opposite deoderants and other hygiene and cleansing items (which of course men don’t buy — ha ha).

I am loving your blog (and your book by the way — yeah, I got it — sign me up to the PastaQueen fanclub!).

Best wishes,

Sharon

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Jenny • June 2, 2008 at 9:58 am

This makes me laugh… At my Fred Meyer (bought out by Kroger but still Fred Meyer), they are across from the baby products and the diapers! But still better than charcoal. :)

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deanna • June 2, 2008 at 10:14 am

Weird to say the least, bizzaarooo! My only thought… maybe they thought they could make some love connections!

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vivi • June 2, 2008 at 10:25 am

hahaha, in my grocery store in Munich tampons are in the wine aisle. How’bout that!! :D

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Karen • June 2, 2008 at 10:50 am

I’ve never liked the way Kroger stores are organized (disorganized) – I could never make sense of it – I think the object is to keep cusomers wandering around as long as possible so they will do more impulse shopping. I just avoid Kroger stores.

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Tena • June 2, 2008 at 11:07 am

Too, funny! I love that you carry your camera around to catch scenes such as this for us blog addicts! I am reading your book right now and loving it! I keep shouting out “me, too” while reading each page! My dog thinks I’m nuts!

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Lisa • June 2, 2008 at 12:11 pm

Nice capture! Considering how paranoid the last store I worked for was I’m surprised you got out the door with that picture without being questioned. During training my manager hit me with “Don’t ever let *anyone* take a picture in here! Our competitors send spies to our stores scoping out our layout and studying our sales methods (blah-blah-blah)”

That aside, since I live out of country now it’s been ten years since I’ve seen the inside of a Kroger’s. Thanks for that unexpected hit of nostalgia.

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JEMi @ MyFavoriteDietBlog • June 2, 2008 at 12:27 pm

I’ll have you know this did initiate hearty laughter. That IS an awkward situation waiting to happen. Geez!

(and yes. You are a blog addict. But thats good news for us! … says the self serving reader)

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Red • June 2, 2008 at 12:51 pm

Maybe market research shows women on their period like to barbecue?

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Rochelle • June 2, 2008 at 12:58 pm

I love that you blog things like this! I am a lurker but a big fan.

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colleen • June 2, 2008 at 1:06 pm

that is just to funny. thanks for the post. i have had a stressful day at work and took a break to read your blog. it totally made my day.

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Sarah • June 2, 2008 at 1:47 pm

ha! Even funnier would be the person standing behind you wondering why you are taking a picture of that isle :0)

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jae • June 2, 2008 at 1:51 pm

LOL, that’s so funny. Imagine meeting your future husband there and what a great story it would make for the kidies: “Well Daddy was gonna bar-b-que and Mommy needed ladies items…” ~j

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Andrew is getting fit • June 2, 2008 at 3:06 pm

Hehehe…mental note to self: Put camera in jacket pocket. ;)

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Marshmallow • June 2, 2008 at 3:25 pm

ROFL! I have a camera in my bag at all times just for blog-capture moments, and man, in situations like this, the photo taking is probably more awkward than the original awkward situation!

Too funny!

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Amy • June 2, 2008 at 4:31 pm

I take blog pics in public all the time! From Bees-On-Board to Tanning Man, I’ve found the best part is trying NOT to look like I’m taking a picture, especially since I’m an introvert!

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SuzyBear • June 2, 2008 at 4:33 pm

Watch out, you people lugging cameras around. My 2-year old CoolPix had its screen cracked a few weeks ago. I had it in the case, sitting on a shelf, and then put it from the shelf into my purse. When I whipped it out – ACK!! I cried, especially after reading the service plan and seeing in black and white that they spcifically do NOT cover cracked viewing screens. I guess it happens so often they had to put that in or they’d be replacing screens right and left.

And count me in as another fan of the blog and book. I’m up to the part where your mom got you roses and you pulled the box of skinny clothes out to try on. Yes, I have one of those, too, unfortunately (Hey, size 24 through 32 clothes are hard to find so I don’t toss anything away!). Hopefully I’ll be digging into mine soon. :)

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Sarah • June 2, 2008 at 4:46 pm

Haha Red!

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Marla • June 2, 2008 at 5:28 pm

Bwahha! I love the male-repellent properties of feminine hygiene products. I used to put a tampon (a new one in its wrapper of course) in my desk drawer on top of anything I didn’t want the office snoop (the IT guy) to see. Worked like a charm; it’s boy wolfbane.

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Laura • June 2, 2008 at 5:33 pm

You are hilarious! This is the reason I read your blog! That is a terrible fear of mine and why I vowed as a young girl – I will NEVER go to buy ONLY tampons! I also vowed that I would make my husband go and buy them, but since I don’t have one of those, I couldn’t stick to that one!

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SaucyWench • June 2, 2008 at 5:56 pm

Worse yet, did you notice that the tampons are right across from the lighter fluid?

Eeek.

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CurvyJones • June 2, 2008 at 6:30 pm

I will never have another phone without a camera on it! It’s perfect for moments like that!

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Sarah • June 2, 2008 at 9:14 pm

Was he cute? Correct me if I’m wrong, but it sounds like he was checking you out. Maybe he was trying to come up with a witty comment about tampons.

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fd • June 3, 2008 at 3:04 am

LOL. At least they dont put them on the top shelf so that you’d have to ask passers-by for help to reach them (or maybe you’re not as short as I am?).

hope things are progressing on the headache front. keep us posted.

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PastaQueen • June 3, 2008 at 7:05 am

I have no idea what he looked like. I really think he just needed some charcoal. It is bar-b-q season!

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ReaderMe • June 3, 2008 at 9:20 am

This might be a little random (I got here from AskMeFi–awesome weight loss progress!) and you may have heard this before, but have you looked into menstrual cups? Not to be overly dramatic, but the DivaCup changed my life (and so I tell everyone about it constantly). No more tampons! Ever!

My Kroger stocks the tampons next to the girly beers.

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fd • June 3, 2008 at 11:41 am

actually yes. in the uk its called the Mooncup. life is so much cheaper and so much more ecological. although you wouldn’t want to be squeamish. *****5 star rating from me. and i don’t get a cent for promoting it. i swear.

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K • June 3, 2008 at 11:56 am

My husband’s stocked up for me on occasion. Fortunately he doesn’t seem to think it’s a big deal, though I suppose I can see that some guys might.

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Manic Mommy • June 3, 2008 at 1:11 pm

OK, this is absolutely like one of the most hilarious things I have ever seen! CLASSIC! It’s like a great plot for a novel.

“So, how’d the two of you meet?”

“In a grocery store.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I was there buying charcoal, and she was there buying maxi pads with wings. We fell in love.”

LOVE IT!

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Laura N • June 3, 2008 at 1:17 pm

Too freaking funny. I love it that you took a picture of the aisle. You should send it to the Kroger people. This would make a funny newspaper article, too. Have you thought about writing (I mean, other than your fabulous book =) for a living? Maybe in your spare time. ;)

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Laura • June 3, 2008 at 2:32 pm

BWAAAHAhahahahaha! That’s the best. I showed my cube mates at work, and our minds went immediately in the gutter so feel free to delete this when I say:

We imagine you blithely turning toward him, clearing your throat, and in your best Mae West voice say, “I’ve got the sauce if you got the fire.”

Love your blog – I actually found the book before finding the blog. Now it’s the best part of my day!

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asithi • June 3, 2008 at 3:22 pm

I wonder if I can use that trick on my disappearing food at work. Yep, there is a food thief at work.

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Reb • June 3, 2008 at 6:26 pm

Just catching up on your blog. This is very funny, you really should have checked him, out though.

I had a thought about the headaches & one of my peeves lately is that the cosmetics industry is putting mushrooms &/or glucosomine (sp?) into moisturizers now. If you are allergic to shellfish or fungus that could be a culprit.

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Lynda • June 3, 2008 at 8:12 pm

I am a big fan and a lurker too! This is soo funny! I love the pic-I live out in CA and I always get a giggle when I am in our Vons stores and I see the condoms on the shelf next to the baby food, sippy cups and passies. :)

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Marla • June 4, 2008 at 8:05 am

I want to chime in on the DivaCup. ReaderMe says “it changed my life.” Seriously, I feel the same way, it’s positively liberating. Can’t recommend it highly enough.

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Elle • June 6, 2008 at 11:34 am

* cute guy follows cute girl into isle 11 and grabs a bag of charcoal their eyes catch as she turns from consulting the maxi pads*

“so.. uh..” he says “buying pads?”

“yep” she answers

“so then you must be a girl then..?”

“Indeed.”

“menstruating then?”

“uh no, just find the cotton lights faster than charcoal.. can you hand me some lighter fluid”

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lisa • June 7, 2008 at 2:43 pm

i think they put it there so the men who are being punished by their wives and forced to by tampons can grab something manly to hide the super plus pearls behind.

sometimes i see a bewildered guy in the feminine supplies aisle, unsure of what to purchase and i want to help him out. but i don’t, cuz i’m a bitch like that!

my son was about 2 and i had taken him to the store. as we passed the tampons, he reached for them from the baby seat and yelled, “HERE’S SOME OF THOSE THINGS YOU PUT UP YOR BUTT!”

freaky little peeping tom! he’s 25 now, but triedthat crap on me at the store a few months ago. we both laughed our asses off!

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Lydia • June 8, 2008 at 1:44 am

I hate it when I’m standing in an aisle looking at something on the shelf, and someone comes up and stands too close, looking at something, too! I don’t blame you at all for finally turning around to look at the guy! That was funny.

That Kroger setup must have been designed by a clueless man. Feminine hygiene products need to be in health and beauty — embedded deeply in that department.

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kim • June 11, 2008 at 7:09 pm

i’ve been terribly happy ever since i started using http://www.divacup.com/ instead of tampons. it saves money, time, and for people who are shy, embarassment.

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Comments are now closed on all PastaQueen entries. The blog is an archive only so I don't have to deal with spammers. For fresh discussions please visit my new blog at JennetteFulda.com.

Man looking into telescope

Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JennetteFulda.com now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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