Mary Poppins sang that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. I guess the Tums product development team listened to her.
My stomach was grumbly last week, so I picked up some ultra strength antacids in assorted fruit flavors at Target. Technically they’re not Tums, just the generic brand, but I suspect they manufacture all that stuff at the same factory and just slap different labels on the bottles. When I got out to my car, I dumped two tablets into my hand and tossed them in my mouth before I could dwell on how bad they would surely taste. Chomp, chomp, chew, chew – yum, yum! Did they replace my Tums with Smarties? They tasted really good! They should rename them Calcium Candy. I reread the label which said I could chew 2-3 tablets as symptoms occurred, so I tapped another one out of the bottle and ate that too. Then I stopped, because I wasn’t sure how I would explain a calcium carbonate overdose to the paramedics. But I admit, I wanted to eat more!
While it’s great that all medicine doesn’t taste nasty, maybe it would be better if it didn’t taste this good. When we were little, my younger brother got into the Flintstone Vitamins and ate half the population of Bedrock before my mother discovered him. This was followed by a desperate call to the emergency poison hotline and a sigh of relief when they told us he wasn’t going to turn into a dinosaur. My favorite medicine as a child was Dimetapp, which tasted like really sweet grape juice. I never started swigging it like water though.
The Tums label says I can take two a day as a daily source of extra calcium. I might take them up on that. Just to build stronger bones of course, not for all that dextrose, corn starch and compressible sugar. Compressible sugar helps the medicine go down.