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Wedding cardio: From the fitness room to the dance floor

There was no excuse not to use the fitness room at the hotel I stayed at this weekend during my brother’s wedding because it was literally across the hallway from my suite.

I did not request this, it just happened. Of all the possible rooms on three floors, I ended up about 4 feet away from the treadmills and stair-climbers. I woke up early Saturday morning, got dressed and stretched in the dark so I didn’t wake my mother, and stumbled across the hallway. There were two treadmills, but the first one’s power key was broken in half, so you couldn’t turn it on. I turned on the TV and got on the second treadmill and walked for about 5 minutes to warm-up. Then I pushed it up to 5 miles per hour to jog for about three minutes. Next I decided to throw in some one minute intervals where I would ran as fast as I could until I felt like “throwing up a lung” as Skwigg would say. I pushed the speed up to 6.2 miles per hour, making sure I located the “stop” button first in case of an emergency, and started plowing full speed ahead for about 5 seconds until –

The power cut off.

Suddenly the TV went dead and the lights on the treadmill went out. I tried unplugging it and plugging it back in, but neither device would turn back on. I must have tripped the power circuit. The fitness room could not handle my athletic prowess. The circuit breaker was obviously not up to the demands of an elite athlete such as myself.

So, I got on the cycling machine instead and did about 18 boring minutes to silence since I’d killed the TV and forgotten to bring my headphones for my MP3 player. I got a lot of additional exercise in at the reception that evening, which was totally kickin’. I was boogying out on the dance floor for a good portion of the evening and broke a spaghetti strap on my dress while raising up my hands to “Shout.” You know you’re not having fun until you have a wardrobe malfunction. Actually, I probably had too good of a time because my right knee is hurting again, but you’re not supposed to mix ibuprofen with alcohol, so I had to wait until the next day to take anything.

I will post pictures of me in my dress, but I didn’t get any good shots of myself, so I’ll wait until someone sends me some to post. A lot of people did say I looked great and I don’t think all of them could be lying. I certainly had a good time, which is far more important than looking good. And big congrats to my brother and my new sister-in-law!

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FoxyLady2Be • August 13, 2007 at 12:06 pm

I just had to laugh at this post. I can’t believe you blew the circuits using a treadmill. You go girl. Rock on with your bad self.

Wardrobe malfunctions are the best, especially when surrounded by friends and family members, under the influence of alcohol while trying to look fancy. That’s always when it happens to me.


Jenny • August 13, 2007 at 1:04 pm

If you’re going to “malfunction”, you did it during the right song.

So, I SHOULD buy that “hip hop off the pounds” DVD that keeps showing up in my spam? Hmmm….


AKS • August 13, 2007 at 1:36 pm

I can’t wait for the pictures!


Kate G. • August 13, 2007 at 1:41 pm

Mad props to you for exercising while you were away for your brother’s wedding. That’s great evidence of your lifestyle change! And your treadmill story was hilarious. It reminded me of the treadmill I had at my first apartment… it would always throw the circuit if I had anything else turned on in the room. So I could not exercise at night…


Miss_Thing • August 13, 2007 at 2:37 pm

PastaQueen, I must join your adoring throng and tell you how inspirational you are (and I really hate the word “inspirational”). I’ve been lurking and reading through the archives for the last few weeks and CANNOT wait for your book to be released. You are too funny! I’ve lost 50+ pounds so far through diet and exercise and am planning to keep going to lose half of me. You are a great example that it’s possible to make lasting lifestyle changes to lose weight and keep it off. Rock on!


kathyj333 • August 13, 2007 at 3:33 pm

Your posts are the best—always a good laugh.


lynn • August 13, 2007 at 3:38 pm

This post made me laugh, too. Also, I thought it was acetaminophen you couldn’t mix with alcohol (it increases toxicity to the liver).


JEM • August 13, 2007 at 5:17 pm

Working out in the dark, with no music or tv?!?! That is dedication!


Mia • August 13, 2007 at 6:56 pm

Hilarious, as usual!


Laura Bora from Bufadora • August 13, 2007 at 7:49 pm

Stationary Cycling alone is a kind of hell, but in the dark with no tunes? You are a Femmacho Warrior Woman.

My brother got married on June 2, and I broke a sweat on the dance floor, too — good stuff. A LITTLE BIT LOUDER NOW!


Patty • August 13, 2007 at 8:48 pm

Oh my, it sounded like you had an awesome time at the gym (power outage and all LOL)…love the dedication…I’m inspired!


PastaQueen • August 13, 2007 at 9:21 pm

As much as I’d like you all to think I’m so hardcore I would bike in the dark, the lights went out on the treadmill panel, not in the room. If it had gone dark I probably would have gone back to bed.


RT the fitness guy • August 13, 2007 at 10:16 pm

I think I would have gone back to bed too!


RT the fitness guy • August 13, 2007 at 10:20 pm

Seriously, I love the way you write. Always makes me laugh. I only found this blog yesterday and I’m already impressed.



Lesley • August 14, 2007 at 2:53 am

Sounds good. I posted a couple of days ago about how much I’m enjoying dancing now that I’m slim. I used to like it even when I was weighty but couldn’t last long – now you can’t get me off the dancefloor – it’s great being all exuberant isn’t it?

Glad you had a good time and looking forward to the pictures of you in your dress.

Lesley x


K • August 14, 2007 at 6:15 am

I hope you didn’t hurt yourself when the treadmill cut out! Once when that happened to me I ran full tilt into the display thing and got matching bruises at kidney height and on my knees…


Lynn • August 14, 2007 at 6:39 am

Hi again, I was just wondering, after reading back through some of your ealier entries, do you think you could physically eat the amount of food that you did at the start of this life changing journey?

Lynn x


Mary • August 15, 2007 at 1:38 am

Probably a good thing that you did the cycle instead for awhile. Cross-training is very effective.

It’s funny, but even at my current weight (BMI 36) I can take my bicycle on a 36-mile ride and not feel sore the next day. But 60 minutes of steady walking, that my muscles feel, because they’re not used to it. Plus, the walking in addition to the cycling makes the scale shift in a favorable direction.

Just my two cents, for what it’s worth. (What are two cents worth these days?)


vickie • August 15, 2007 at 6:49 am

Roni had a great link with info on cutting mangos – here it is if you are interested.


I have been checking out the pre-cut stuff at Meijers – lots of small packages and no waste.


Mymsie • August 16, 2007 at 11:56 am

Awwww – sounds like you had fun! I think the hotel Gods wanted you to rest and order room service.


Sam • August 16, 2007 at 10:16 pm


I so needed that laugh tonight!!! I wish I could have been there with you! I can count on you to bring a laugh or smile when I’m really needing it. Congratulations to your brother.



Comments are now closed on all PastaQueen entries. The blog is an archive only so I don't have to deal with spammers. For fresh discussions please visit my new blog at JennetteFulda.com.

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JennetteFulda.com now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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