So, everyone in the blogosphere has been raving about Fage Yogurt. Diet Girl made a “flaming miniature birthday pavlova” with it. I haven’t the slightest idea what a pavlova is, but it sure does look good. Elastic Waist loves it with honey*. And Jen at Yet Another Weight Watchers Blog could not contain her love to just one post, but wrote two entries about it. Since we’ve already established that I have no mind of my own, I decided I needed to get some Fage Yogurt before every blogger in the country caused a shortage and I was left licking up the remains of a cracked container on the floor of the dairy aisle in the whole foods supermarket.
I bought both the 0% and the 2% variety to compare tastes. I tried the yogurt in several different recipes. I ate it raw just to get a taste of it. I mixed it with some blueberries as a snack. I put it on some sliced peaches with cinnamon like Jen did. I also tried Kalyn’s recipe for Greek Yogurt with Agave Nectar and Pecans because just looking at the photo made me want to eat the JPG and burp up some pixels. I ate a lot of this yogurt in a lot of different ways.
I’m really sorry to say this, but it tasted like diaper rash cream.
Actually, I cannot say with 100% certainty that it tasted like diaper rash cream because I have never squeezed a tube of Desitin onto my peaches. Perhaps it tastes more like vaginal cream, but I’ve never snacked on Monistat either, so I can’t say for sure. I will say it tasted like what I imagine those products taste like. It was thick and sour and a very “meh” taste experience. I ended up dumping a lot of Splenda into my blueberry and yogurt mix because it was just too sour for my taste. The agave nector however was really great and I’ll definitely be using that on pancakes and devising other devious ways to sneak it into my meals.
I’ve never liked the taste of plain yogurt in any variety, so perhaps that is a factor in my dislike for Fage. I am, after all, the person who used to eat frosting straight out of the can and snacked on Kool-Aid crystals for fun. I like the sweet stuff. Fage ain’t sweet. It’s also possible that this product was built up so high in my mind that there was no way it could have met my expectations. I was disappointed that it not only didn’t taste good but that it didn’t also cure bad breath, wash my car, and pay all my bills. I was half-expecting to have an orgasm right in front of the dishwasher after eating a spoonful. That didn’t happen.
The only thing I could possibly see myself doing with Fage is using it as a substitute for cream cheese or sour cream in other recipes, assuming it is lower in calories. I know I am in the minority here and I’m sure I’ll get dozens of comments on this entry with recipes that I should try that will finally open my mind to the greatness that is Fage. But I am doubtful, people. I just don’t think it’s my thing.
Believe me, this is worse for me than it is for you because I shall always be on the outside looking in on your love for this yogurt, never quite understanding the appeal. I will be like the person who doesn’t understand the greatness of the original Star Wars trilogy or someone who can’t understand why a show called Buffy the Vampire Slayer could ever be successful. Everyone will look at me and wonder, “What the hell is wrong with her? How can anyone not love Fage?” But that’s just the way it’s going to be. And that’s okay. I’m glad you all love it. Please, enjoy your Fage. But I think I’m going to pass it up, even if there is a freshly spilled container on the supermarket floor begging for me to lick it up.
* Random side note: One person commented in that thread that she makes her own yogurt. Wow, I thought I was hardcore because I make my own whole wheat bread (in my breadmaker), but I think the homemade-yogurt woman beats me.