Last Saturday I weighed in at 187 and was glad I’d decided the week before to nix the weekly weigh-in entries in favor of round-ups at the beginning of each month. My weight has been all over the place in May, making me wonder if I should rename this blog every week. One week it’s “Half of Me” and the next week it’s “Over Half of Me” and then the week after that it’s “Almost Half of Me.” I practically needed rotating logos.
So I was looking at that number, wishing I was a dishonest person and could lie about my weight or perhaps “forget” to update my sidebar with the number. Then I thought about everything I’ve been saying lately about how I don’t care so much about my weight as I do about being fit and healthy and able to roll on my back and fling myself up to a standing position. I asked myself, “Self, do you really believe all that stuff?” And I realized that yes, I do really believe all that stuff. I still want the numbers to go down and not up, since weight gain will inhibit my ability to do all those things. But as long as I am able to run and frolic like a pixie it doesn’t matter if I actually look like a pixie. So I typed the number into my template and rebuilt all my pages and logged off the computer to go for a walk.
Then six days later I weighed in at 180.
Aunt Flo came early this month and like many an unwanted relative screwed with my head. You’d think after over a decade of being of a child-bearing age I would get used to the weirdness of my cycle, but no, she gets me every time. I even use My Monthly Cycles to send me e-mail reminders three days in advance, but she launched a pre-emptive strike this month. Still, seven pounds in six days is a bit wonky even for me. I’ve read there is now a form of birth control that will let you stop having periods. There’s a part of me that would really love not having to rinse my undies in cold water every month, but another part knows that I would miss these sudden drops in weight that are so much fun even if the gains drive me crazy. I also want other people to take the pill for a couple years in case it causes them to grow a second vagina. Which is funny since I have no qualms at all about dumping Splenda all over my oatmeal and strawberries even though it’s a fairly new chemical.
I can’t blame the recent weight-loss stall completely on my cycle though. The past two months have been slow for three reasons. First, I started weight lifting at the end of February and have been developing muscles. I’ve been drinking my protein shakes and eating my cottage cheese. So now when I rub my back at work I’m feeling up hard clay instead of mushy Play-Dough. I’ve definitely gained muscle and thus weight. How much? I haven’t a clue.
Secondly, I mildly injured something my inner right thigh at the beginning of May and had to stop running for 3 weeks. I replaced it with some cycling and the occasional walk to the grocery store, but nothing gets me hot and sweaty like running does, except maybe Simon Baker. I am now getting back into running, but taking it slow so I don’t re-injure myself.
The third reason: cereal. While it has been fun experimenting with new foods, this curiosity has led me to some dangerous discoveries. I started experimenting with new breakfast foods like Kashi’s Go Lean and Go Lean Crunch. I should know better because cereals are one of my binge foods, just like muffins or breads. One bowl of Go Lean will keep you lean, but two and a half are not a good idea. I also discovered the most delicious dessert – a bowl of vanilla yogurt mixed with a mango-cornflake cereal. Oh. My. God. It was ambrosia. I would eat a bowl of it and then I’d immediately eat another. Then I’d want to eat another but I’d wait until later in the day so I wouldn’t feel like a total pig. It was so good and yet so bad for me at the same time. I’ve now banned the mango cereal from my house because I cannot control myself around it. Until they start selling it in half cup portions I’m only going to buy it on special occasions.
I think I’ve made the proper course corrections and I’ll get back to losing weight, though I’m happy to have basically maintained my weight recently. I’m happier to see the 180 on the scale because it is a new low for me. Hopefully (cross my fingers) I can hit the 170’s in June (knock on wood). If I get to 172 I will have lost 200 pounds. Two hundred freakin’ pounds. Can you believe that?
And, a bit of bad news here, yesterday I lent my digital camera to my brother. So you’re going to have to be patient waiting for new progress photos. He promised to return it in a week. Untill them I could try to sketch myself for you, but I think it’ s better just to wait. I had no idea I was going to get to 180 this quickly or else I would have just taken the pics last night.