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People I want to punch

I think the key to getting a good workout during kickboxing class is to imagine someone particularly vile when I’m throwing right hooks and uppercuts. In the last session I imagined the creep who had somehow hacked my ebay account an hour before class. S/he not only listed fake auctions, but made me late for class since I had to change all my passwords and cancel about 20 auctions for DVD sets of “The L Word” and “24.” In this case I think the L word was “lying leech” and I’d love to see my hacker playing the part of a torture victim in the latest day of Jack Baur’s life. I took my rage out on the air molecules in the elementary school gymnasium and now my biceps and triceps are sore like they haven’t been after the other two classes. Exercise is indeed a good stress release.

I was also pissed at another attendee in class, a guy who seemed to be dragged there by his wife or girlfriend. I imagine she talked him into it by saying kickboxing was a manly, macho thing where he’d get to grunt and kick things. He must have been very disappointed when halfway through class our instructor told us to shake our booty and yell “Whoo!” There was one point when the instructor got lost and had to stop until the next 8 bar cycle to jump back in. About half the class got lost and stopped too, like a giant game of Simon Says where Simon was a mute. This guy took this as an opportunity to stand and pout with his arms crossed. He then walked to the side of the gym right next to me and continued pouting loudly until the next water break. I really wanted to sock him one.

I’m empathetic if the class was not as enjoyable as he’d hoped it’d be and he wasn’t having a good time. I can also understand if he was mad that the instructor got lost. But standing around pouting like that was so rude. It’s important to keep the energy level up during an aerobics class or it’s not as much fun. It’s like the vibe at a really good concert that you can never replicate with a DVD at home. You have to give as well as take. His crossed arms and beady glare were committing theft of our energy high, just like that hacker who stole my password. A risky move on his part, since I was only two yards away and have very little control over my roundhouse kick.

After the water break he joined back in, but I hope he either doesn’t show up next time or seriously retunes his attitude. Or else one of these days I really am going to end up punching somebody.

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MonicaMay • March 8, 2007 at 3:44 pm

Its hard to imagine a grown man pouting at a kick boxing class, LOL Id be embarrassed if that were my boyfriend.


aj • March 8, 2007 at 4:56 pm

Glad to see you’re feeling the burn!

I totally understand the desire to ‘acidentally’ lose control of your roundhouse. I’ve felt the need before and only restrained myself because the indignity of apologising after would have been too galling!

Well done on sticking to it :)


K • March 8, 2007 at 4:59 pm

Yay! I can post again!

I’d really like to punch whatever bit of my software (firewall, maybe?) was malfunctioning and not letting me see a whole lot of perfectly innocuous websites. Including this one. I missed some milestones, didn’t I?

I can’t imagine being like that in a class – at least, one I’d paid for. I may have been like that in the odd school gym class.


KP • March 8, 2007 at 5:14 pm

I started taking individual boxing (not kickboxing) lessons 7 months ago, and I love it. I practice on the bag six days a week, and I sometimes pratice kicks as well. I love roundhouse kicks, especially when they land with a satisfying “thwack!” If the pouty, beady-eyed guy was in my field of vision, I would have rolled my eyes strenuously, and restrained myself from doing anything further, but just barely. I sometimes get annoyed at people at the gym who seem to be there solely to socialize instead of exercise. There’s nothing wrong with being social at the gym, but c’mon, sweat a little!


Chris H • March 8, 2007 at 5:15 pm

I don’t think you will have to worry about him, the git is not likely to turn up again by the sound of it! I would have been tempted to tell him to piss off!


Vamp • March 8, 2007 at 6:41 pm

Wait, what? Shake your butt and go “Whoo!”? That would be the last time I took that class, lol. I don’t mind motivation but perky motivation makes me want to scoot to the front of the class and leg sweep the instructor. :P


Haystacks • March 8, 2007 at 6:49 pm

Wow, does hacking happen on ebay alot?


Mymsie • March 8, 2007 at 7:33 pm

That guy sounds like a big baby! Next time you go to class, bring a pacifier or woobie and offer it to him if he starts pouting again. He’ll get the hint. ;)


PastaQueen • March 8, 2007 at 10:52 pm

Haystacks – I don’t know how my account got hacked, so I don’t know. I’m very careful not to click on fake phishing e-mails and I keep my virus definitions up to date, but I must have overlooked something.


Debbie • March 9, 2007 at 10:15 am

I’m surprised the wife or girlfriend didn’t corner that guy and straighten him out.

Jennette, someone did something similar with my personal eBay account. I finally had to close it. I have no idea how they got my information either. eBay wasn’t much help. I hope you have better luck. I didn’t have the exact problem you have, but someone was using my account, too. I couldn’t get it stopped without closing the account.


Les • March 9, 2007 at 10:53 am

I like to hit Saungia(I’m not sure how you spell his/her–haven’t figured it out yet–name), who is the awful singer on American Idol. I know many may hate the show and may not care, but it’s ridiculous how such a terrible singer could make it to the top 12, two great singer, Sabrina and Sundance, gets voted off.


Janice Bridge • March 9, 2007 at 11:36 am

heheheheh. If Mr Pouting Prick shows up next week, just punch him. You’ll feel better for it, and can decide if you need to apologize after the blow


metamorphose • March 9, 2007 at 3:24 pm

I love classes that make us wiggle our booties a bit.

When I go to kickboxing, there’s always a couple dudes in the class. And no instructor is perfect, I’ve hardly gone to a class where an instructor didn’t have a bit of a brain fart. For him to get pouty about it….LAME.


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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JennetteFulda.com now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

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