Livin’ in the fridge

We are what we eat, so a look inside our refrigerators is like a full autopsy, without the icky blood to deal with. Unless you are one of my vampire readers. Didn’t mean to exclude you, nightstalkers! What can we learn by looking inside my fridge?

First, I should buy stock in TupperWare, my container of choice for storing leftover vegetables and porkchops. Also, water is supposed to be tasteless, which it is not when it comes out of the tap, hence the Britta pitcher. I’ve got lots of diet sodas, yogurt, string cheese, eggs and a box of clementines on the top shelf. Until this month I thought a Clementine was just the daughter of a miner, a forty-niner, but it turns out they’re miniature cousins to oranges and tangelos too. I don’t know if I’ll get through the whole box before they rot though, lost and gone forever, dreadful sorry, clementines!

Another fave is the bowl of fat-free, sugar-free chocolate pudding which is quite yummy despite its lack of fat or sugar. I got my mad food scientist on and added a half teaspoon of mint extract to my latest batch which was simply divine. Mint chocolate pudding, yum. Note, don’t lick the measuring spoon after adding the mint extract. It’s the taste equivalent of looking directly at the sun. Though my breath has probably never been fresher.

In the bottom drawer are all my fruits and vegetables. I just did a grocery run, so I’m stocked up on apples, pears, grapes, carrots, celery and the greatest produce advancement this century – bagged salad! I heard a rumor that people used to have to cut up their own lettuce for salads. We are truly living in the golden age of food preparation technology. It’s easier to be lazy today than it ever has been.

On my fridge door are some more diet sodas and some Crystal Lite Peach Tea. Most Crystal Lite flavors taste like 1 part flavor and 10 parts water to me, but the peach tea is quite good. And I don’t even like teas! I picked up a 4 pack of wine last night because I’ve been stressed lately. I loved the little miniature bottles because I’m all about portion control. We’ve also got a variety of low-calorie salad dressings, and yeast for my weekly loaf of whole-wheat bread, prepared in a breadmaker. See golden age of food preparation technology.

In the freezer we’ve got enough Lean Cuisines for three weeks worth of lunches. When Meijer has a sale, you’ve got to stock up! They were also running their buy 1, get 1 free, special on bagged chicken breasts, as you can see on the left. There’s also fat-free Cool Whip for my pudding and some frozen ground beef. My water bottle is just chilling out, with a layer of ice in the bottom waiting for me to fill it up for a run.

Finally, on the freezer door are bags of frozen veggies, waiting to experience the warmth of the microwave and then the acid bath that is my stomach. Plus some no-sugar added fudgsicles which again, are much tastier than anything without sugar in it has a right to be.

That’s my fridge! Much different than it looked two years ago when it was full of non-diet sodas and the closest thing to a vegetable it ever housed was a jar of dill pickles.