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You can always bitch about something

In my continuing effort to prove that you can always find something to bitch about no matter how blessed your life is, there are some things that suck about losing a lot of weight. Beware, the following contains whining that will probably be annoying to anyone currently struggling to lose weight. I’m an ungrateful little snot, I know.

The leading entry in “Things more obvious than the color of the sky” is that I don’t get to eat as much now. Shocking, but true. (By the way, the sky – totally blue.) Between now and when I started, my basal metabolic rate has dropped 745 calories. BMR is the minimum amount of calories a day needed to keep me alive if I were floating in a pod full of mucus hooked into The Matrix. And who’s to say I’m not, really? You can calculate your basal metabolic rate here. That’s a lot of food that I’m no longer eating. That’s a lot of food I probably shouldn’t have been eating in the first place. It’s a 30% drop.

In the past couple weeks I haven’t always been eating my afternoon snack. I hope I didn’t hurt my poor little pear’s feelings when I stuck him back in the refrigerator after a day of toting him around in my lunch bag. Though if I’m going to anthropomorphize fruit I suppose he’d be more like a man on death row, happy for one last day of reprieve before ultimately being devoured. But I miss my afternoon snack! I like eating and I’m starting to miss that fact that I can’t eat as much. Some evenings I’ll be sitting around thinking of fudgsicles or pudding or cream cheese and celery in fridge and wishing I was hungry enough to justify eating it. I never thought I’d be complaining about not being hungry, but I guess I am. (I know, I know, you wish you had my problems, but it’s true!)

Also, I’m getting tired of buying new clothes. Yes, it was a lot of fun at first moving into smaller and smaller sizes, admiring my cute little butt and shrinking waist. But geez, do I have to buy a new winter wardrobe every year? I’m on my third coat in three years. I’d rather save my money for LASIK surgery. At least now that I’m smaller I have better luck finding items that fit at Goodwill where I managed to get four tops for under $20.

It’s also aggravating because whatever I buy has an unknown expiration date built into it. I don’t know how long it’s going to fit, so if I don’t wear it a lot before I shrink out of it I feel wasteful. If my fruit has feelings, my unworn tank tops must despise me. Plus, I just bought some of this stuff five or six months ago and now it doesn’t fit anymore. But I liked that green T-shirt with the gathering at the bust. That corset tank top was rockin’. Anyone know where I can purchase a bargain basement shrink ray? I’ve been able to alter a couple of the tank tops, but most other items are too complicated for me to take in or wouldn’t be worth the price of a tailor. At least I’ve been able to make back some money via ebay.

While I’m still not done with my weight loss, loose skin is becoming more and more of an issue too. When I’m just wearing my sweat pants and sports bra and doing leg pull downs in my Pilates session, there’s a lot of skin dangling down between me and the mat. It droops like a plastic bag half filled with water. It’s at the same time disgusting and completely fascinating. I know I can always get plastic surgery, but EEEEP! Surgery, both expensive and dangerous. And which do I get first, better vision or tighter abs? I don’t know. If I fix my vision I’ll just be able to see my sagging skin all the better. But if I don’t, how will I ever be able to admire my tummy tuck in the shower?

So, even though I am 99% ecstatic and grateful to have lost a gazillion pounds and know that these are the best problems to have where weight is concerned, there’s still always a down side to everything. Though I’m sure the anthropomorphized pears of the world are happy about the drop in genocide (fruitocide?).

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17 Comments

Nanette • October 31, 2006 at 12:14 pm

Totally with you on the clothes. My weight loss has been far from spectacular {sigh} but still have had to say ‘goodbye’ to some rather cute (and more expensive) winter things because they’re just too big now. It was easier this summer when it was just a few cheapo t-shirts I was tossing.

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Kala • October 31, 2006 at 12:29 pm

Isn’t there some kind of internet swap for clothing? I know that a friend of mine who had gastric surgery got into some kind of swap on her way down. I’m sure it wouldn’t be very designer, but then again you never know.

The skin thing impedes me in that I feel like maybe I look better fat than I will deflated. It a shame I even worry about it at my weight. I try to rationalize that I will cross that bridge when I get to it. You are about to approach the other side of it! I’d fix the eyes first so you can see the new clothes your shopping for and the pictures of the post op tummy tuck samples! Don’t docs all have portfolios?

You are entitled to whine, you’ve worked hard for it.

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dg • October 31, 2006 at 12:32 pm

hear hear, m’dear :) the winter coats in particular get bloody expensive!

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don't • October 31, 2006 at 1:18 pm

Don’t worry about the skin issue. You’re young and very tall. Give it a year or two to shrink to fit your new form.

can you wear some of your old clothes with belts or with a tinier tank underneath them?

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i • October 31, 2006 at 1:33 pm

i suspect that the “loose skin” thing was concocted by plastic surgeons to make more money. if you google “loose skin” you ONLY get hits for plastic surgeons or for the blogs of post-op WLS people. I think it’s a problem mainly for post-op people who drop weight extremely fast and don’t want to wait for skin to go back.

i never started hearing about loose skin till a few years ago, and, say, WW or optifast has been around for years and years. Just drink water, keep building muscle, and if it’s still a problem 12 months after hitting goal weight, worry about it then.

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Janice Bridge • October 31, 2006 at 5:14 pm

Ahhhhhh Pasta Queen.. . . I love it! Yes – my smiles for the afternoon came from your ‘whining’ . . . (You did leave out that your exercise routine now burns 35% FEWER calories than it did when you weighed 350 pounds!! – but hey)

I have been told that many of the hospitals that offer gastric bypass have clothes closets where you can come in, leave the too large and take comparable clothing in your current size – and I know that the local Overeaters Anonymous has a similar arrangement.

Buy fewer items, take in what you can, and SMILE!!! OFTEN!

Major advantage is that now you can OFTEN find items for sale at half price or less on the sale racks.

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K • October 31, 2006 at 5:14 pm

I too have heard that skin recovers, especially if you’re young.

I feel for you on the clothes issue, though. I haven’t had to dump much (what with the paltry amount I’ve lost) but I do have shirts that have gone from fitted to frumpy, and both my black work trousers are too big and have been for months. (I hate shopping for work clothes, though, so it’s my own fault for not replacing them.) Which is slightly trying. I haven’t lost enough that I could justify buying much, and the bagginess probably conceals what I have lost!

Maybe you could keep your old coat for the days when it’s really cold and you have to wear a seriously thick sweater?

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yo • October 31, 2006 at 5:43 pm

Pastaqueen, I am obsessed with your website, but where can I find out what your exercise routine / general eating plan is?

Like, I know you do South Beach, but is there any post anywhere that has sort of, your ordinary meal plan from an ordinary day, and the sort of workouts you do?

You look so damn good!

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crankybee • October 31, 2006 at 5:57 pm

Hey, I was just whining the other day about this!!! I’ve only lost 13kg (er…I think that’s about 28 pounds?) but because I am actively tryingt to loose weight, I can’t just eat anything I want! I really miss eating as much food as I please!

And yo, “obsessed” with Pastaqueen’s website? Oh dear…that’s a bit…single white female! LOL!

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kalmia • October 31, 2006 at 6:22 pm

That is so fabulous that you’re not hungry all the time. After a couple of years of eating well and exercising, you appear to have retrained your appestat. I’ve never known if that was possible, so it’s good news indeed to see that it can be done. You are forging new ground, and many of us here are following behind in your footsteps. I have never in my life got as far in a healthy weight loss plan as I am now. I attribute it to your example.

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kathryn • November 1, 2006 at 1:36 am

When I was working in the city, there was a plus sized clothes near my tram stop and they would always have really cool clothes in the window. Because their sizing is so big, even the smallest size they stock is now way too big for me. You try bitching about that and getting sympathy!

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Laura • November 1, 2006 at 8:02 am

I wish I had these problems. I hope to have them soon as I am despondant where I am now. Love your blog by the way….

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Melissa Turner • November 1, 2006 at 10:31 am

Oh, I can totally sympathize. I’ve lost 63 lbs. since last August, and I have a rule that I don’t spend more than $10 on any one item of clothing. I’m wearing a hand-me-down coat, because I’m not dropping a wad of cash for a nice wool one like I used to have, because, well, I won’t be able to wear it next year.

I bought most of my clothes from Lane Bryant in the past, but now, even their smallest size – 14 – is too big. I’m right now wearing clothes bought in the regular-size section of stores, and it’s a wonderful feeling.

And the eating thing – I’ve realized since I’ve been losing weight what a drug eating is for me – I’ve actually been sad that I couldn’t eat more. That pleasure response is a strong, strong motivator, and one that isn’t easy to break.

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Jenna • November 1, 2006 at 1:30 pm

I’ve found that my sewing box has become my best friend. We just don’t have much money, and certainly not enough to warrant buying new clothes very often. So, I had to sit down and begin altering my clothes, even my bras. Though it can take a bit of work, it has saved us lots of money, and I feel pretty happy to know that I downsized my clothes all by myself. (See, I’m not real great with sewing.) Maybe you could give it a try sometime? You might have some wonderful talent in your fingers! :o )

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amyt • November 1, 2006 at 2:25 pm

i bought some new jeans last saturday. but thursday they didn’t fit anymore. you expect change but that was just cruel.

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Rosemary Grace • November 2, 2006 at 12:25 pm

Oh, all legit whining.

I hadn’t thought of the BMR reduction thing, DAMMIT! Though it does give a numeric explanation as to why it’s so much harder to loose the “last” 10-20lb above goal weight (or for someone who’s only trying to loose that much total). I suppose we can all counteract the drop in BMR a little by doing muscle building exercise, which will help with the skin thing too.

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PastaQueen • November 3, 2006 at 11:43 pm

yo – Hey, sorry I’m slow replying to you on this. I haven’t posted my meal plans or exercise routines anywhere. I believe everyone needs to tailor a diet and work-out routine that fits their life, so I don’t want someone to try exactly what I’m doing, have it not work, and then get completely discouraged. Plus I find those nitty gritty details make somewhat boring blog entries (as to apposed to the ones where I just whine, like this one :]). Thanks for the compliment though!

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Comments are now closed on all PastaQueen entries. The blog is an archive only so I don't have to deal with spammers. For fresh discussions please visit my new blog at JennetteFulda.com.

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JennetteFulda.com now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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