I've moved to JennetteFulda.com

I signed this lease until the apocalypse, right?

I’ve noticed that the more I keep my mind busy, the less hungry I get. So, when my day consists of signing a lease, coordinating the relocation of all my earthly possessions, and trying to pack the cat who showed me what he thought about that with his claws – well, I was lucky I remembered to eat at all. We won’t even discuss how devastating it was when my new, I’m-an-adult-now-who-can-buy-a-couch-from-a-store-not-named-Goodwill sofa wouldn’t fit around the front hallway. Tears were shed, people. Big, snotty, I-can’t-breathe-because-I’m-choking-on-my-microsuede-induced-grief, kind of tears.

Even though I was carrying boxes up and down the 22 steps to my new place all day, I only ended up eating a Panini for breakfast, a chocolate chip cookie dough milkshake from Steak N’ Shake for lunch, and a Subway salad for dinner. And honestly, I had to force myself to finish that salad. During the day I would occasionally think “Geez, I really need to eat more. I’m going to become one of those crazy people who tries to subsist on 800 calories a day and collapses because all her muscle has been metabolized. How will I carry my lamps up the stairs then, huh?” But I just wasn’t hungry. There was too much to do.

Today I’m still so stressed and tired I haven’t eaten as much as I usually do. Not to mention the fact that my refrigerator currently only contains three cups of yogurt, two cheesesticks, half a 2 Liter of Diet Dr. Pepper and an unused packet of Italian dressing. By the end of the night I was really wishing I’d packed that rum my mom had offered me out of the cupboard. Also, I don’t own a microwave and can’t buy one until I unearth my 20% off coupon buried in one of these damn boxes. Cardboard is high in fiber, right? Maybe I can eat and unpack at the same time.

Chocolate & Vicodin: My Quest for Relief from the Headache that Wouldn't Go Away
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JM • June 13, 2006 at 3:56 pm

So what did you do about the couch? Did you have to take it back?


PastaQueen • June 13, 2006 at 4:02 pm

The store has a no-return policy, so my mom has offered to buy it. I’m not sure if she really wants it though or was just trying to be nice. If she really does want to buy it from me, I’ll let her. Otherwise I’ll have to sell it on ebay or Craig’s list or something, hopefully not losing too much money.


M. • June 13, 2006 at 4:14 pm

I know people who have passed their mattresses through the window/balcony because they couldn’t fit them through the door/hallway. A couch would be heavier, but if it was expensive and you can hire someone…

Just a thought.


PastaQueen • June 13, 2006 at 4:17 pm

Unfortunately I don’t have a patio and the windows split vertically down the middle and slide back and forth horizontally, so there’s now way of getting it through there either. Not to mention the fact that I’m on the second floor and even if the window was totally removed they’d be lifting it in mid-air about 15 feet off the ground. Thanks for the suggestions though.


Dee • June 13, 2006 at 7:01 pm

hahha I spat tea everywhere reading the last line!!! good god woman, warn a woman when you’re gonna be that funny :P

Ew @ moving, I totally know what it’s like to move [3 times in ONE YEAR] and I hate it, hate hate hate it. BLahtlawekj. It’s so stressfuly and draining, and you worry about the silliest stuff and you want to stab everyone… oh just me?..

*hug* for the tears, did it [being the couch] make it in there? Hope the rest of your week is less [MUCH MUCH less] stressful ;D


scone • June 13, 2006 at 8:34 pm

Awwwwwww. There, there. This too shall pass, as they say. And if your Mom buys the sofa, you can buy it back when you become a homeowner. Congratulations on the new apartment!


Mmmarshmallow • June 13, 2006 at 8:45 pm

It has been said that moving house is the most stressful thing in the world apart from your funeral. Of course, with your funeral, you won’t be experiencing the stress because you’re dead, so I guess that doesn’t even count!

Like scone said, this too shall pass. Good luck and big hugs to you!


K • June 14, 2006 at 4:48 am

I remember reading somewhere that a university science class sometime in the 80s tested various breakfast cereals, and the boxes they came in, for nutrient content, and found that in some cases the boxes had more nutrients than the cereal.


Annie • June 14, 2006 at 8:57 am

*HUGS* I hate moving and I sooo feel for you about the couch. We got a fridge that we couldn’t get through the door but luckly with a fridge we found out they can take the doors off and do it. I hope you get a nice couch to replace it and don’t loose any money on this one.


Candy • June 14, 2006 at 10:49 am

:-( for the couch…. too bad there isn’t a way to get it taken apart and put it back together again.

I once had (STILL have) a sleeper sofa that weighed in as much as an elephant. My poor dad, uncle, and hubby had to move that thing up two flights of stairs, and maneuver hallways and corners that were insane, to get it in my first apartment. (I think a five year old designed the top floor to this place)

They swore they’d leave it there when I moved out. A year later, I hired a moving company. ;-)

Hang in there. It gets easier.


BethK • June 14, 2006 at 2:30 pm

Hang in there, PQ! The sofa thing sucks. I’m sure you’ll be able to sell it. One thing I learned, just a little too late last December, was that the furniture store I ordered my sofa from had a free measuring service. They come in and measure your entry way and doors to make sure the furniture you’re contemplating will fit into the room. Then, if it doesn’t fit, you’re not responsible. I figured out just a week after I ordered the sofa that it wasn’t going to fit and I called to cancel. Normally I would have been out the 20% deposit I’d made, but since they didn’t mention the measuring service when I placed my order, they ate it instead. Not helpful to you now, but when you’re ready to furniture shop again, it might be worth asking about his kind of service.


Kat • September 15, 2008 at 8:30 pm

Did you know that “fibre” is actually undigestable to animals? Plants make it and it’s called “cellulose” (sounds like cellulite, doesn’t it? haha) and it is incredibly tough. It’s what gives a lot of plants their structure. Anyway, that’s fibre is so good to have, cause it goes right through us. This cleans out the digestive system and keeps us regular!

Yay biology!


Comments are now closed on all PastaQueen entries. The blog is an archive only so I don't have to deal with spammers. For fresh discussions please visit my new blog at JennetteFulda.com.

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JennetteFulda.com now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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