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Monkeys and rabbits loop the loop

When I looked in the fridge yesterday morning, I realized I didn’t have anything to bring with me for breakfast. D’oh! Poor planning is one of the simplest things that can totally screw up my diet. I ended up skipping breakfast, so of course I was ready to chomp on the chipboard laminate of my desk by 3:00 p.m. However, my boss frowns on us chewing on the furniture. He’s such a hard ass. So I went to the vending machine two floors down on the other side of the building. At least I burned 20 or 30 calories getting there.

Out of all the sugar-ridden, carbohydrate-laden items available, the Animal Crackers seemed to be the best choice. Plus I’m a sucker for food pressed into the shapes of elephants and sheep. I dropped in my 80 cents, the spiral wheel turned, and…my crackers got stuck! Ever since I saw an episode of The West Wing that claimed more people are killed each year by vending machines than by wolves, I’ve been hesitant to rock or shake the machine to get an item. So, I put in another 80 cents to get my crackers, but I also ended up getting the item that was right behind them…Chips Ahoy Chocolate Chip Cookies. Dun, dun, dun!

Low blood sugar leads me to acts of madness, so I snatched up both items and devoured them. In retrospect I really should have just left the cookies in the bin to cheer up someone else’s day. My mother would call it a random act of kindness. But the money conscious part of my brain couldn’t deal with the fact that I would have wasted 80 whole cents if I didn’t eat those cookies. Yes, I screwed up my diet for 80 freakin’ cents. I should never underestimate my ability to rationalize things I know I shouldn’t be doing.

This event underscored for the me the importance of how much your environment can effect your ability to stick to your diet. I would never have set out to get cookies, but when the cookies were dropped right in front of me, I snatched them up. If I had been prepared enough to bring breakfast or had time to stop somewhere before work to get something, I would never have gone to the vending machine in the first place and would never have faced this dilemma. It was like a chain reaction car accident that started in the morning when I skipped breakfast and ended with a three car pile up outside of the vending machine. Only I experienced a sugar crash instead only an hour after partying with the enriched-flour sheep and literally wanted to take a nap at my desk at 4:00.

The one good thing about this incident is that it reminded me of how crappy I feel when I eat crap. Why do I forget that? I suppose like with my health I never appreciate how good I’m feeling until I’m not. Oh, the importance of contrasts!

Chocolate & Vicodin: My Quest for Relief from the Headache that Wouldn't Go Away
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amyt • May 19, 2006 at 12:17 pm

it’s just wrong to hide cookies behind animal crackers. it makes them accessories to the crime.


Nicole • May 19, 2006 at 1:19 pm

Ooooo…I did this twice this week. Forgot to bring something with me when heading out. Ended up eating Wendys Chili both times.

I have also made the discovery that I seem to have more energy at the end of the day when eating low carb. I feel sick and lethargic when I eat junk carbs.


melanie • May 19, 2006 at 1:29 pm

i’m like that too… i go out for a meal and get caught up in ‘ooooo that looks GOOD’ and then eat it all and think later ‘now why the hell did i do that? i know that eating like that makes me feel like crap’. and then i kick myself for doing it, and next time it happens over again. like clockwork, i tell you. :P


melanie • May 19, 2006 at 1:30 pm

hahaha i just got the title.

i’m slow today…


Jenna • May 19, 2006 at 1:51 pm

Isn’t it great when we can learn something positive from poor experiences? :)


susan • May 19, 2006 at 1:54 pm

Ugh — hate when that happens! I always keep instant oatmeal and some sort of bars (ya know, like Balance bars or Kashi bars) at work so I can avoid the vending machine if I forget my lunch or am STARVING by 3pm.


little miss ess • May 19, 2006 at 2:07 pm

I consider myself very lucky to be living and working where I do. There’s always something just outside the door that can do in a pinch.

I’ve finally gotten where I don’t let the money thing bother me too much if I end up not paying enough attention when I buy something but then realize when I sit down to consume it that it’s high in sugar or calories or whatever. Just the other day at the gourmet market where I often pick up lunch, I noticed a new flavored Volvic water. I love Volvic. And an orange-flavored one! Count me in. I snatched it up, stupidly assuming it would be like the flavored seltzers, that are just flavoring, no sugar. Wrong! Damn thing had like five million grams of sugar and almost as many calories as a full-octane soda. It cost almost two bucks, I think, this orange water. I ate my lunch and drank water from the water fountain. Poured out the orange water and threw the bottle in the recycling. No way, man.


Ros • May 19, 2006 at 4:40 pm

Hey.. am I stupid.. when that happens to me .. I just go… doh,, wasn’t meant to be eating crap anyway, machine is telling me to stick to the diet! and leave the rubbish in the machine ;)


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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JennetteFulda.com now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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