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Magic Powers

Have you ever been asked that question, “If you could have one super power what would it be?” Most people go for flying or being invisible, but I would want my magic power to be a transformation sequence.

If you’ve watched enough Sunday morning cartoons, you know what I’m talking about. Our lovely hero or heroine has some sort of magical object (a sword, a make-up compact case, or a pair of holographic earring projectors) which they say a secret phrase into (“By the honor of Greyskull!” “Moon prism power, make up!” “Showtime, Synergy!”) and then wham, bam, they are all perfectly dressed, coiffed and ready to go kick some super villain ass or just fend off the antics of a renegade rock band.* What a total time-saver!

I wouldn’t want my transformation sequence to just dress me and do my make-up though. I’d also want it to brush my teeth, shower me, and also take care of all my exercise for the day. When you add up all the time this would save me, I bet we’d be tacking years onto my life. I once added up how long I had sat on a school bus at one particularly long traffic light every afternoon for the year and it turned out to be almost a complete day.

There are so many activities in life that are just maintenance, boring little things we must do every day to just stay alive and healthy. After having a mouthful of cavities a couple years ago, I certainly appreciate the importance of flossing, but it’s so monotonous to have to do it every day. Sometimes I feel the same way about eating right and exercising. It just never ends.

Which is not to say I’d never want to exercise or shower again. A nice warm shower can be soothing besides just getting you clean. Running a mile can energize you and make you feel happy to be alive. Brushing your teeth can be…uh, okay, I never like brushing my teeth. There are also days when I’d just like to wake up clean and not have to throw on the sweat pants. I need to get myself a magical compact! Anyone know any talking cats?

* Note: I’m referring to She-Ra, Sailor Moon, and Jem. Sorry if the obscure pop culture references go over anyone’s head and alienate my audience. That’s why God invented Google.

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kathrynoh • May 9, 2006 at 6:38 pm

I’m so with you on this. The bonus is that you get your exercise fighting the villians (or onstage in the case of Jem). Hopefully you get to sequence back to normal you all non-sweaty afterwards.

I’d also like to be able to morph places. That would save some much travelling time.


Suey • May 9, 2006 at 7:04 pm

Oh definitely, I agree with the ^above comment. I’d love to transport myself to somewhere else at the snap of my fingers. (I think that magical concept is from Sabrina the Teenage Witch? Forgot…)

Hahaha, you crack me up PQ, I can’t believe you actually calculated how long you sat on a school bus for a year :D


Kirsten • May 10, 2006 at 3:45 am

I’d definitely like to be able to teleport, like the kids in The Tomorrow People. I need never be late again! No more trying to work out travelling times…

Actually, the getting-ready-in-the-morning sequence sounds good too. (I brushed my hair at the bus stop this morning and have come out without my lunch or my wedding ring… oops.)

I don’t suppose you had SuperTed in the US? He had a wonderfully low-key secret phrase…


Dee • May 10, 2006 at 4:20 am

ok. I just feel inlove with you a little more for referring to She-ra, Sailor Moon and Jem! all in one paragraph.

Thanks for taking me back (to saturday – here in aus) morning cartoons!!


melanie • May 10, 2006 at 1:20 pm

lol @ the references. i love that i’m not the only one who adds up time spent. i spend almost three days per year trying to convince myself to get out of bed.


Lauri • May 11, 2006 at 6:53 am

You should be so proud! You’ve done a fantastic job. I read your blog all the time because you are such an amazing success story.

I’m sorry about your plateau. Have you thought about going back to phase 1 on South Beach to kick start the weight loss?


melissa • May 14, 2006 at 6:15 pm

you just won my heart for life with the cartoon references. good luck with the rest of the weight.


Comments are now closed on all PastaQueen entries. The blog is an archive only so I don't have to deal with spammers. For fresh discussions please visit my new blog at JennetteFulda.com.

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JennetteFulda.com now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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