I think the blood pressure machine at the pharmacy should keep a top ten list of best blood pressure readings, like the top scores on a video arcade game. Then every month when I pick up my migraine pills I could try to beat the high score.
This month my arm actually fit comfortably into the cuff and I scored an awesome 122/71. A reading of 120/80 is considered normal. It was all I could do to contain myself and not yell “Score!” while pumping my fists in the air and taking a victory lap around the feminine hygiene aisle.
My family has a history of hypertension. At our last family reunion my aunts and uncles started comparing what blood pressure medications they were on. My blood pressure has never been in the dangerously high levels, but it wasn’t ever this good either. So, yay! You can be fat and fit.
Now if I could just get off these damn headache pills. I tried going off of them in December but that was A Very Bad Idea because I ended up having a migraine during midnight mass, as if I don’t find attending church painful enough. I’ve always hoped my headache problems were weight related, but maybe my noggin’ is just screwed up. But you all knew I wasn’t right in the head already, didn’t you?