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Rough Patch

Easter, bridal showers, and house sales are all perfectly acceptable times to suffocate your face in chocolate, but I just wish they didn’t have to happen all in the same week.

We sold the house in a new personal record of 12 days of showings. That’s also a personal record for number of continuous days in which I’ve made my bed. I went out for ice cream with my mom to celebrate, even though we’d gone to a bridal shower earlier in the day and had cake. I have now filled my quota for special occasions until at least August.

Then two nights ago I actually woke up because of menstrual cramps that lasted most of the day and killed any desire I might have had to exercise. I also spent a few days playing a video game on my computer this week which caused me to hold my arm at a weird angle. The resulting stiffness made me decide to hold off on weights for a couple days so I wouldn’t hurt myself.

So, essentially Pastaville has been hit with a Hurricane Katrina size dieting and exercising disaster this week. Well, maybe not Katrina size, but at least an F3 tornado with a couple overturned trailers. It worries me some because I know this is how bad habits start and good habits get lured into an alley and beaten with a sock full of D batteries. So, no more! Back to running and lifting and eating well, etc.

I have to wonder if half of this isn’t just fatigue. It’s been over 15 months, can’t I just be thin already? Some days I think “Another 70 pounds! That’s nothing. I’ve already lost twice that!” and other days I think “Ugh, another 70 pounds? Really?” Also, when you figure in the fact that my goal weight is a number I essentially pulled out of the ether, I might just get to 180 or something and say “Well, this is good enough.” Kind of like old time settlers who were headed for California but decided to just quit in Nevada. I might easily be distracted by the shiny lights of Las Vegas. I’d just like to get to a point where I don’t have to shop in the plus size section anymore. When that happens, I figure I’ve got it made, whether I’ve made it to the coastline or not.

Chocolate & Vicodin: My Quest for Relief from the Headache that Wouldn't Go Away
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15 Comments

Gretchen • April 26, 2006 at 1:58 pm

I can totally relate to the fear of yo-yo-ing or not reaching your goal. The last time I weighed about 215 I went shopping for a friend’s (weekend long!) wedding extravaganza. I was so psyched that I could shop in a “regular” store that I went crazy. Not only did I stop dieting and blow tons of money on clothes, I gained 50 pounds in 9 months. I am STILL working on losing those damn pounds. Don’t lose sight of your goal, you’ll get there! :)

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Slem • April 26, 2006 at 2:25 pm

Girl, you have sooo much to look forward to…shopping in regular stores for regular size clothes is such a trip…Look at where you have been and where you are now and think about how much better it’ll be when you get to the 180’s…It’s definately worth the trip and all of the effort..

We all get anxious and want to reach that goal NOW but by taking it Slow you are insuring yourself that you will NEVER EVER be back to that size you were once…

We all know you CAN do this because YOU DESERVE it…

Keep on writing…I like your style and it helps me get thru those rough patches….

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scone • April 26, 2006 at 2:57 pm

When I was losing, I settled on a size range rather than a scale number. It just makes everything so much easier, and I don’t beat myself up when my weight fluctuates due to salt, TOM, etc. Then again, reaching goal isn’t really an endpoint. My body shifted quite a bit in the year after I reached goal, putting more weight on the T + A portions, and taking weight off my legs and arms. Who knows why. Evidently, it’s all about continuous change. Best to just roll with it, enjoy the process, and let the future take care of itself. You’re doing just great.

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Amy • April 26, 2006 at 4:29 pm

To have lost as much as you have, you’ve obviously been working very, very hard. I think it’s normal for people to start to psychologically and physically break down if they’ve had their nose to the grindstone long enough.

Someday, if you ever say “this is good enough,” you’ll start to maintain (hopefully), and as long as you maintain, you can always pick up where you left off. I don’t know about you, but sometimes when I’ve been working long and hard towards a goal, I just need a break to recharge a bit.

Of course you have to decide for yourself what you have the energy to do. If you have it in you to take one more step forward, then you should probably do so, and keep doing so until you honestly can’t take another one.

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kathryn • April 26, 2006 at 4:45 pm

It gets like that sometimes and those old bad habits are so easy to get back into. I mean when you think about it you have almost a lifetime of experience with the bad habits and only months of experience with the good. But I’m sure you’ll be kicking the butt of those last 70 pounds in no time.

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hopefulloser • April 26, 2006 at 6:27 pm

You took the words right out of my mouth!

I get tired thinking about taking it up another notch to lose the last 30. You’ve lost nearly 3 times what I have in the same amount of time.

You’re my hero.

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Karen • April 26, 2006 at 8:21 pm

You have done magnificantly! But maybe right now you need to stop thinking about the future and instead think about the past and about this very moment. Compare how you look and feel right now with how you looked and felt before you lost weight. Could you have walked for 40 minutes back then? Could you have run? Could you have walked up a flight of stairs? How about two flights of stairs? And while you are still in plus sizes they are normal plus sizes not like “wow, even 3x doesn’t fit”. I have lost 20 pounds and have 130 left to go and if I focused on how far I have left I would drown myself in a vat of chocolate syrup. Instead I celebrate that I am up to 15 minutes of exercise when a month ago I could barely do 5. And I celebrate feeling lighter and not feeling like total shit when I wake up in the morning. Forget the future and concentrate on the now. And that is my bit of overbearing and interferring advice :)

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Lora • April 26, 2006 at 10:33 pm

You have done such a wonderful job thus far! I understand you when you say you may reach 180 and just stop. My total weight loss goal is what you have left to lose and it took me almost a year to lose 25# of it. Some days the frustration is almost crushing but somehow I make it to the next morning and get back on the horse and try it again. I’m determined to succeed, no matter how long it takes, and I know you will, too!

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Mae • April 26, 2006 at 10:44 pm

I love your analogy about the settlers heading to California, but settling in Nevada. That’s an awesome way of expressing how you’re feeling.

I also think, with how far you’ve come, it’s completely normal to be fatigued. What’s impressive is just how far you’ve gone already… I don’t have any experience with that. I’ve never gone further than 60 pounds, and then I just sort of… forgot what I was doing, and why. Clearly, you aren’t letting that happen.

I can’t offer advice, because I don’t know what you’re going through… but I will say that I think you’re amazing. For what that’s worth ;) !

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Kirsten • April 27, 2006 at 4:12 am

I think you’re amazing too. (Speaking as someone who has lost 15 pounds, total, over the course of a year.) It does get pretty tedious sometimes…

For what it’s worth, I’d have though 180 would be safely out of the plus sizes – that’s about where I am now and I’m four inches shorter than you. I’m mostly a 10 or 12.

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Amyt • April 27, 2006 at 7:04 am

las vegas is great to visit, but after a while you’ll decide you don’t really want to live there. but you might aswell enjoy the strippers and celine dion while you’re there.

or, you know when you need a break and when you’ll be ready to kick some ass. but god how i love the stripper analogy.

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little miss ess • April 27, 2006 at 10:15 am

Hang in there, PQ. You’ve come so far already, and you are so close.

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julia • April 27, 2006 at 10:42 am

I know you are a die hard for the diet you’ve chosen, but you might want to try something else – just to mix it up and try something new. Sometimes just changing things will get you out of a rut and excited about dieting again…if you can call dieting exciting!

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Jen • April 27, 2006 at 2:06 pm

Have you ever considered doing a submerged BMI and O2 test? Here in the lovely state of Minnesota, we have a guy fondly known as “Dunkin’ Dan”, who is actually Dr. Dan Carey from the University of St.Thomas. For $40, he does a submerged BMI along with a respiration test that determines your basal metabolic rate. http://personal1.stthomas.edu/dgcarey/

He’s all the rage amongst the weight loss surgery community here. He helped me set a target weight. Maybe something like that is available where you are?

Aw heck, just come to Minnesota for a long weekend. There’s lots of fun things to do!

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Kari • March 12, 2007 at 7:23 pm

I’ve found that working out during your period can absolutely help with the cramping, bloating, etc. It’s hard to exercise during your period because of the cramping and bloating, but I think if you do, you’ll see it as a benefit. Sometimes it’s better than Midol or Pamprin or whatever! At last it is for me.

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Comments are now closed on all PastaQueen entries. The blog is an archive only so I don't have to deal with spammers. For fresh discussions please visit my new blog at JennetteFulda.com.

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JennetteFulda.com now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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