January 12, 2006 at 1:00 pm
Is there a word for “fear of chairs with arms”? If I’d taken Latin I could hobble together a word ending in “phobia” for it, but alas I took Spanish which I’ve never used because I am an American and we make everyone speak English to us.
I went to the movies the other night and I realized I am still surprised that I can fit in the seat between cup-holders and not feel smushed. When I was really, really, fat (as apposed to just being pretty fat as I am now) one of my biggest enemies, besides short seatbelts, was chairs with arms. You just never know if the width between those arms is going to be big enough to fit your ass. It was especially bad if I was seeing a show at on older theatre in town where the seats were built before the populace started getting so fat. At least at the newer places they typically have larger chairs.
I have lived in fear of armed chairs for so long that I wonder if I will ever not be apprehensive around them. I’m at a point now where it’s mostly not an issue, but every time I have to sit in a chair with arms or slide into a restaurant booth I get a little scared. I have post-traumatic armchair stress!