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Before and … after?

Once a week the South Beach Diet e-newsletter I subscribe to includes a detailed testimonial of one person’s loss on the diet, complete with the before and after pictures we all love. Problem is, many times I look at these photos and think “Uh, which one is before and which one is after?”

Maybe being so enormously overweight has miscalibrated my fat detection abilities. (“Miscalibrated” isn’t actually a word, but I’m going to pretend it is. If you all know what it means, doesn’t that make it a word? “Misconfigure” isn’t actually a word either, but it should be! Someone petition Merriam-Webster!) Maybe I am just not very observant., but if someone lost only 20 or 30 pounds, I don’t think I’d actually notice. I need a chin to disappear or significant reduction in ass size to notice someone’s lost weight – including myself!

It’d probably help if the people in these pictures wore the exact same clothes and were posed in the same way, but they never are. I suppose most people aren’t dedicated to making 3-D progress photos like myself. Tsk, tsk!

I’m different from some people who can detect a one pound gain in someone else. Maybe you have to live in Hollywood or be a plastic surgeon to obtain this skill. I knew one girl who was always commenting on whether someone had gained or lost weight. I’m glad I’m not like this because it seems to be a silly thing to be obsessed with. I monitor my own weight, but why get caught up comparing yourself to other people constantly? I prefer to compare myself to myself and see how I’ve progressed.

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JennetteFulda.com now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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