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Fat Car

When I buy a new car next spring, it’s occurred to me that I won’t have to buy a fat person car! I’ll still be overweight then, probably still in ‘obese’ territory, but I don’t think my big butt and gut are going to cause the problems they previously did when seeing how well a car ‘fit’ me.

Right now I have a 1994 Oldsmobile Cutless Cierra, which is a damn fine fat person car. It features bench seats, so there is no spillover. My ass is not intimately acquainted with the gear shifter as it was in my brother’s little Saturn. The Cutless Cierra also provides ample space between your seat and the steering wheel, leaving plenty of room for my tree trunk legs underneath, though occasionally my belly did brush up against the bottom of the wheel.

The Oldsmobile also has really long seatbelts. Even when I was 372 pounds and wearing my bulky winter coat, I could buckle my safety belt with no problems, which was not always the case in some of my friends’ cars. It’s not only embarrassing when you can’t buckle your seatbelt, it could be a fatal health hazard, especially considering the way some of my friends drive. Memo to car companies: Your customers are getting fatter. Stop skimping on the seatbelt material.

While I love my Cutless Cierra and all it has done for me in the past 5 years, I am ready to move onto a slightly smaller and more fuel efficient vehicle. I get about 22 or 23 miles per gallon in the city, which is not bad, but not the best mileage. I believe my brother’s before-mentioned Saturn gets something in the 30’s. I have to wonder if my gas mileage has improved now that I weigh over a hundred pounds less. It must have because I think the reason the Oldsmobile’s mileage is only mediocre is because it’s a big car. You could fit a body in the trunk.

And I have.

A live body, of course. I got my brother to crawl in there once to fix the stereo speaker wire. I was really tempted to slam the trunk closed on him for a laugh, but resisted the urge. I’m such a good sister.

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kimberly • November 18, 2005 at 10:56 am

It is so nice to see someone else comment about the seat belts. It is very embarassing when half a mile down the road I am still struggling to ger the damn things snapped into place.

I am so glad I found your blog because it is very inspirational to see someone who is actually doing it. I don’t have 20 pounds to lose. I have nearly 200 pounds to lose. It seems nearly impossible, but when I see your stats and your progress pics I know that it is possible.


PastaQueen • November 18, 2005 at 11:25 am

Yeah, it’s a *lot* of weight to lose and I remember feeling really bummed when I figured it was going to take at least 2 years to do it. But then I just told myself “Well, two years from now you’re going to be two years older whether you like it or not.” You can’t stop time, but you can chose what you do with the time you have.


Queen • November 18, 2005 at 11:37 am

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve smiled secretly to myself when I’ve fastened my seat belt thinking: I’m not doing this for safety, although that’s a good reason. I’m doing this because it FITS!

All around, that’s a good feeling.


hopefulloser • November 18, 2005 at 2:21 pm

Pasta Queen,

You are my absolute favorite! Just like Kimberly said, you are really inspirational.

There is a really funny Jiffy Lube commercial that trys to give you tips on improving gas miles in addition to getting your oil changed. One of them is literally “get rid of the junk in your trunk”. That always cracks me up.

So I think it’s safe to say that you have improved your gas mileage :-)


Mark • November 19, 2005 at 12:14 am

A contrarian view ;-) :

“Memo to car companies: Your customers are getting fatter. You have an important role in fighting the obesity crisis. Make seatbelts shorter, but supply bright orange seat belt extenders. Help create ‘moments of truth’ to motivate your customers to lose weight. Also, for talking cars, in addition to ‘Your door is ajar’ add ‘You are wearing a seatbelt extender’ to their repertoire.”


PastaQueen • November 19, 2005 at 9:51 am

Mark, if I thought embarrassing people actually helped them lose weight, I’d be all for it. But honestly, it’s bullshit. Fat people get ridiculed and humiliated all the time and it doesn’t seem to be making people any thinner.


Kirsten • November 21, 2005 at 4:48 am

You tell him. What a stupid comment (and trying to be clever, which makes it worse).


Peter Audrain • August 1, 2006 at 2:20 pm

Probably no one will see this, since I’m posting below spam, but the smart-ass comment actually has a point. The easier it is to cope with being a big size, the likelier you are to stay big (public humiliation, of course, being self-evidently counterproductive).

But they’ve actually had one study group of overweight people wear slightly too-tight trousers, and another wear expandabands, and the too-tight people had measurably better weight-loss outcomes. Just from that one difference. And I swear I am not making this up!

Basically, get stretchy clothes, and you’ll stretch them out.

So, moments of clarity, or at least a feeling that you’re up against some sort of limit, can be helpful, at least in the aggregate.

There are so many interesting insights into the life of the people losing weight on this site.


Sten9498 • January 9, 2007 at 10:27 am

Basically nothing noteworthy happening right now, but eh. Today was a complete loss. I haven’t been up to much recently. I’ve pretty much been doing nothing worth mentioning.


Shirl • February 18, 2007 at 10:35 pm

Some of us can’t lose the weight no matter what…and we do NOT..eat ‘like a pig’. Peter, Do you really think humiliation is the key? I pity your family and hope your children all live up tp your expectations.

BTW, I am here because I am trying to find ‘THE’ Fat Lady vehicle…need new wheels.


Comments are now closed on all PastaQueen entries. The blog is an archive only so I don't have to deal with spammers. For fresh discussions please visit my new blog at JennetteFulda.com.

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JennetteFulda.com now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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