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Week 1: Status and Goals

Current Weight: Still unknown because scales won’t function that high, but guessing around 385

Mini-Goal Weight: 350

Goal Weight: 160

The first week has gone well, much better than prior attempts. I’ve usually devoured a tray of Lofthouse cookies by now. I’ve been walking every other day and I’m up to .75 miles or 20 minutes. In the height of the great weight loss of 1998, I was up to 3 miles a day, which is my ultimate goal. Treadmills now come with cup holders; thank you, usability designers.

This week I’m going to concentrate on eating better. However, I refuse to go on any fad diets (Atkins, South Beach, The Zone) or what have you. I’m surprised no one has started the tape worm diet. Insert a small parasite, eat all you want, and still lose weight! Eating should not be an activity that requires a lot of thought. I don’t want to do mental acrobatics to determine if it’s okay to eat a slice of bread or not. I don’t want to get on a diet that is going to be proved unhealthy and cancer-causing 5 years from now.

My basic approach is going to be portion control. Before, I would often go on food binges where I’d eat lots of ice cream cones or chomp down a whole bag of mint chocolate cups. This obviously must stop. This doesn’t mean I will never eat ice cream or chocolate again; it just means I’ll only have it in small portions.

I’m also going to start buying only “Lean Cusine” or “Healthy Choice” type TV Dinners for lunch. For dinner I’ll eat something “sensible.” What “sensible” means, I don’t know, but I’ll guess :) My eating habits have been so crappy that if I just downgrade to “Mildly Bad” or “Okay” I’ll be doing well. Combined with the exercise I’ll hopefully start losing pounds. I already switched to diet sodas a couple months ago, so the calorie count is already on a decline. As I progress through this experience I’ll probably have to adjust my diet accordingly. Hitting a plataeu can be frustrating.

I’ve ordered a digital camera so I can start a photo log of my weight loss. I plan to create an image where the left half is the fat ass version of myself and the right half changes each week until I hit my goal week. It works with the “Half of Me” theme and I’d like to try something arty like that :) Maybe I’ll get around to actually designing a layout for this thing too instead of this boring default template.

Chocolate & Vicodin: My Quest for Relief from the Headache that Wouldn't Go Away
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Beach Girl • March 3, 2007 at 2:11 pm

When our words come back to haunt us :-D…Low carb has been around since the cave people, so if it’s a fad, it’s one with legs. Congratulations on changing direction and coming over to “the light side!”


Jessica • March 10, 2007 at 5:13 pm

OMG! I have totally thought about the tapeworm diet myself…isn’t it awful that we get so desperate to lose weight that we think about purposefully ingesting TAPEWORMS!!!! Have you seen them? They’re disgusting…but, sometimes, as fat people, we think of ourselves as disgusting, so I guess it would just be trading one disgusting thing for another disgusting thing…if only we could get our hands on one! ;P


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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JennetteFulda.com now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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