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Lack of Vanity

Maybe if I were vain I would have lost weight sooner.

Unfortunately (or fortunately?) I’ve never been obsessed with my looks. I don’t wear make-up, I don’t shave my legs, and I barely look in the mirror before I leave. Maybe this is also partly effect as well as cause. At 300+ pounds is anyone really going to give a shit if I have hairy legs or not?

Growing up I never weighed myself. I was completely unaware of what I weighed at any time, which probably contributed to my inability to realize when I was gaining weight. Maybe if I was a Narcissus I would have paid more attention to my exterior and made changes to correct what I saw as flaws.

But I’ve always been more focused on my internal life, on my thoughts and observations, and not on making myself look hot. Of course I knew I was overweight. I wanted to be thin, to wear the short skirts and the high boots. It just wasn’t my major preoccupation in life. Maybe if I were vain I would have been scared enough and motivated enough to exercise more than once a month.

Chocolate & Vicodin: My Quest for Relief from the Headache that Wouldn't Go Away
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1 Comment

Alecia • August 2, 2009 at 3:23 am

It’s kinda crazy…I’m just the opposite. Always wear make-up and try to “look my best”. I think I may be overly obsessive to compensate for my weight. All it makes me is the girl that people describe as “having such a pretty face.”95 lbs to go til my body matches!!

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Comments are now closed on all PastaQueen entries. The blog is an archive only so I don't have to deal with spammers. For fresh discussions please visit my new blog at JennetteFulda.com.

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JennetteFulda.com now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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