Starting Over – Half of Me must go

This blog is called “Half of Me” because that’s what I’m planning to eliminate – half my body weight.

I’ve attempted and failed at this task many times before. The journal entries before this one record some of those attempts. But as time treads on, the necessity of actually-fucking-doing-it-already becomes more and more urgent. If I continue at my current weight of almost 400 pounds I will develop serious health problems in my future. Anything from hypertension, diabetes, and death from heart failure are possible consequences. Since I fear death more than anything and I have crappy medical insurance, I’d like to avoid this.

While health is a major motivator, I’m not without my vanity. I’d like to be a hot chick. I’ve never been one. I’m getting older and my window for crazy, young dating experiences is closing. I feel like I’m missing a major period of my life by being fat. It affects my self confidence. It makes me self-conscious in crowds. I’d like to feel good about the way I look for once.

Also, I’m moving into my mid-20’s and more than ever I feel a desperate need to accomplish something with my life. To make a goal and achieve it. Losing all this weight is one place to start. At the least, I’m getting older no matter what. I may as well use my time getting healthier and skinnier.

I’m setting up this blog as a place for me to talk about the ways being overweight have affected me and continue to influence my life and the way I look at myself.

I’m also going to use it to keep a record of my weight loss experience, make goals, and record accomplishments and setbacks. I’m going to keep some sort of weight tally. Once I get a digital camera I’ll start a photo record as well. I’d like to create a time-lapse video of me losing weight. I something similar online of someone who took pictures of their teeth in braces and you could actually see their teeth moving into place. It was hella’ cool and being a techy I’d love to make something similar.

I’m also going to write a script to send me an encouraging e-mail everyday. I know the hardest part about weight loss is maintaining endurance. Reaching my goal weight will likely take 2 years. Keeping on task for all that time will probably be the hardest thing I ever do.