Shopping

I went shopping at Kohl’s today to get a new light-weight jacket as my old one was deteriorating at the ends. I purposely bought a top that is a bit too small for me but is absolutely gorgeous as a way to motivate myself to stick with the weight loss. If I stick with things I should be able to fit into it in a couple months which will be a sweet reward for my hard work.

One of the big things I will enjoy once I am skinny is shopping. Skinny people have a much wider selection of clothes than fat people. It would be so cool if I could shop at trendy mall stores or The Gap. I can’t even buy pants at any stores these days, even Lane Bryant, because I’m so fucking huge. I’d love to be able to buy the cool clothes and midriffs and mini-skirts and thigh-high boots that I have been envying for most of my life. I’d like to feel sexy and act sexy. Losing weight might not make all those things happen, but it might make me feel confident and glamorous enough for me to finally make it happen. I’d like to be able to walk into a job interview or a conference with clients and not feel ashamed of my looks. In fact, I’d like my looks to give me power over everyone else.