My acceptance speech
When I reached my goal weight, I had planned on giving an acceptance speech thanking every person and product that had helped me get to 160 pounds. I imagined it like the Oscars, me stumbling up to the stage stunned and stunning in a size 10 dress, taking the podium and saying, "Thank you, thank you, I wasn't expecting this at all," as I whipped out two pages of perfectly typed notes. Then the orchestra leader would set his baton down while the bassoon player went out for a smoke. I'm not sure if I can squeeze into a size 10 dress (possibly, depending on the manufacturer) and I don't weigh 160 pounds. But since I've decided I'm happy with the weight I'm at, this will be an entirely different type of "acceptance" speech and I'm giving it anyway.
Thank you to my mother (and my father) for never fucking me up about my weight. They never put me on a diet, never called me fat, never made me feel self-conscious about my weight, and made me feel a sense of value and self-worth that had nothing to do with my body. I've read several weight memoirs in the past years and I've come to appreciate how exceedingly rare this sheltered kind of life is. It's as if I grew up in a bomb shelter in the backyard while everyone else was exposed to the evils of magazines yapping about cellulite.
Thank you to my brothers for never teasing me about my weight, or if you did I don't remember it. Thank you to my younger brother for setting a good example by losing a lot of weight four years ago and gentling nudging me in the right direction. It was awesome having someone to chat about the glycemic index with who didn't fall into a coma afterwards.
Thank you to the makers of sugar-free fat-free pudding, no-sugar-added fudge pops, fat-free Cool Whip, Lean Cuisines, and diet sodas. There are probably too many weird preservatives and artificial chemicals in your products for my own good, but you helped me out more than you'll ever know. Big props to the string cheese manufacturers, pistachio growers, and the fruit and vegetable farmers of the world. You give me quick, healthy snacks in a fix. Rock on.
Thank you to Arthur Agatston, whose book gave me good ideas on what types of foods I should be eating (not chocolate frosting), Ana Caban, who makes great Pilates DVDs (that have made my butt a bit perkier, perhaps?), and Cathe for the weight-lifting DVD (that made me unashamed to wear a tank top last night).
Thank you to the happy fun and fitness trail that runs next to my apartment. I love running amongst the bugs and leaves, even when I have to drag myself out there against my will. Your delightful nature always wins me over and I never regret spending time with you. (Except when you're covered in ice and snow and freezing fog.)
Thank you to all the bloggers and commenters who cheered me on. I remember when you all first started stopping by I wondered, "Who are these people and why are they being so supportive? How odd." I didn't understand why strangers could be so excited and happy for me. But when I was running my half-marathon and someone yelled, "Go, Jennette!" at mile 13, I truly understood. You need people cheering you on or else you'll faceplant on the pavement. Thank you for keeping the skid marks off of my rosy cheeks.
Thank you to my treadmill, my dumbbells, my Pilates mat, my YMCA membership, and my poor broken bicycle. Thank you to my heart-shaped silicone muffin pans, my silicone whisk, my breadmaker, my hand-mixer, my skillet, and my cookie sheet that I've roasted hundreds of veggies on. Thank you to fat-free cheese. Thank you to my cute activewear, my sweat-wicking socks, my running shoes, my MP3 player, and to cheesy techno music. Thank you to sexy boys and adorable children on the trail. Thank you to personal records and finish lines. Thank you to sunny days and endorphins.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Bookmark Entry | Permalink | Comments (41)Posted by PastaQueen on July 4, 2008 at 8:31 AM | Tags: acceptance speech, thanks
Weight: 179 - Pounds to lose: 19 179, good enough for me!
Those are my feet, as funky as ever. Those are my toes, still gnarly from the half-marathon two months ago. And there is the issue of Women's Health my book was reviewed in this month, proving the photo is recent.
It's July 2, 2008 and I weigh 179 pounds. That's exactly what I weighed on July 2, 2007. And that's good enough for me!
When I started this journey back in...the stone ages? The bronze age? Okay, maybe it was just 2005. I set 160 as my goal weight because I wanted a number to aim for, 160 fell in the "normal" BMI range and it ended in a 0. Since June of 2007, I've been hovering below or above 180. Sometimes I've been really psyched to get to 160, charting out how many months it will take if I lose a pound every week. Sometimes I've looked at 175 on the scale in the morning and thought, "I'll have a chocolate éclair for breakfast!"
So, let's scratch out that "160" next to my goal weight because I. AM. DONE. 180 is my happy weight. I can run 3 miles without stopping. I can buy normal clothes. My health is pretty damn good, most things considered. My weight is not the first thing people notice about me...unless I'm walking into a book signing. Life is good and I haven't given a shit about getting to 160 for months. I predicted this state of mind back in April of 2006:
"I might just get to 180 or something and say 'Well, this is good enough.' Kind of like old time settlers who were headed for California but decided to just quit in Nevada. I might easily be distracted by the shiny lights of Las Vegas."
Vegas looks pretty good to me. The lights are indeed shiny. I think I'll stay here for awhile. 160 is not a goal of mine anymore. My new goal is to maintain a weight of 180 or below for the rest of my life. If I happen to lose those 20 pounds, I won't complain, but I don't really care if it happens or not.
This means I'm done with the monthly weigh-ins too. They've been a helpful tool to keep me on track. They helped me lose a lot of weight. But lately they've been driving me to the crazy farm. I'm ready to keep my weight private again. I'll still track it for myself, but I don't want to have to justify every gain or loss to the masses. I post enough pictures of myself on this blog that you'll notice if I start to pork out. If there's suddenly a 6-month gap without any self-portraits, you'll know something's up. I promise to stay accountable in my own ways, just not in exact poundage statistics. If I beat any of my personal records, you'll be sure to hear about it.
I'm still going to blog. You couldn't get me to stop if you stole my computer. I'd wait in line at the library. I'd use my mom's dial-up. I'd steal some kid's iPhone. I'm a blogging addict and you can't make me quit! If you've been reading for awhile, this announcement should be as shocking as a puddle of water. I first saw the number 180 on the scale on June 1, 2007, so I've been maintaining my weight loss for over a year now. It's about time I made maintenance official. Maintenance and I have been dating for so long, it's about time we got engaged already and set a date!
Today's the day. July 2, 2008. Not quite Independence Day, but close enough.
Bookmark Entry | Permalink | Comments (91)Posted by PastaQueen on July 2, 2008 at 7:16 AM | Tags: maintenance, weigh-in, weight loss
Half-Assed in United Kingdom, Australia, New Zealand and on Kindle!
I'm happy to announce that Half-Assed: A Weight-Loss Memoir is now being distributed in the United Kingdom, Australia, and New Zealand via Palgrave/Macmillan. If you live in any of these countries, you can go to your local bookstore and request that they order a copy for you. If you're lucky, they might already have one in stock. Karen already wrote in to report a sighting at the Borders in Auckland. It doesn't matter what store you go to because my distributor accepts orders from big chains and independent retailers. And yes, Britons, please request "Half-Assed" not "Half-Arsed."
I want to apologize that I did not have this information for you guys sooner. If I'd known the book would be available internationally, I would have told my foreign readers to wait to buy it locally instead of paying to have it shipped overseas. You could have saved money on shipping and I would have saved my hand cramping up filling out bizarre custom forms. I want you to know that I'm genuinely sorry and hopefully the shipping costs were worth the two month head start you got on your neighbors. If it makes you feel any better, after Helen sent me pictures of her reading the book on a beach in Mexico, it occurred to me that my book has now traveled more places than I have. I wish my body could visit the United Kingdom, Australia and New Zealand, but my words will have to suffice for now.
If you're a techie, you might be happy to know you can also get the e-book edition of Half-Assed, for Kindle: Amazon's New Wireless Reading Device. I saw one of these on a plane last month and now I wish I owned one just so I could see how my book looks on it.
The entry period for the viral video contest is now over. I will draw a winner as soon as I finish confirming entries. I'll announce the winner on the blog when I do so. Thank you to every one who participated. As of this moment, my video has 6,566 views!
Bookmark Entry | Permalink | Comments (18)Posted by PastaQueen on July 1, 2008 at 7:05 AM | Tags: australia, book, half-assed, kindle, new zealand, united kingdom
I want to set some cheese on fire!
"Opa!" Our waitress exclaimed and then she lit our cheese on fire.
This was one of two reasons my mother and my brother had decided to go to the Greek restaurant to celebrate his birthday (the other being the rumor of a belly dancer that remained a rumor). We never miss an opportunity to set dairy products ablaze, especially if we're not the ones risking 3rd degrees burns on our forearms.
After the flames died down in the silver platter of cheese in our waitress's hand, she set it on the table and placed a basket of bread right under my nose. After she walked away, I picked up the basket and placed it as far away as my unburned forearms would reach.
"No cheese for me," I said before anyone could ask. I kept my hands folded in my lap, waiting for the salad I had ordered earlier. I stared at the map of Greece on the far wall next to the CD player who's LCD let me know track number fourteen was playing. The three-tiered dessert case in the corner was rotating slowly, displaying chocolate pastries I don't know the names of but I know would have tasted delicious.
"Opa!" Some more cheese met its maker.
Man, this was so fucking lame.
People were lighting cheese on fire, and I was waiting with my hands in my lap for a salad. This celebration dinner had been my suggestion, so any lameness I felt was my own fault. When the waitress had taken my order earlier, I felt like I had a neon sign above my head flashing, "Girl on a diet!" I don't eat out much, so when I do I like to eat the flaming cheese (after the fire has been put out), but I knew eating that slab of curd was going to be the difference between me fitting into my pants tomorrow morning or not. Literally. My weight had been on the way up lately and it had finally reached a point of no return where it needed to go down again. I don't want to deprive myself of good foods all the time, but I've got to admit there are times when I have to deprive myself of treats if I want to maintain my weight.
This is one of the roughest parts of maintenance for me because I think diets are lame. I think supermodels who eat half a side salad and only drink water are lame. I think people who eat 600 calories a day have serious problems. I don't want to live like that. I like eating real food and having bagels from time to time and eating a cookie if it's offered to me. But I've realized in the past 6 months or so that if I eat the cookie all the time and I have the bagels every time they're offered to me, I'm going to gain 10 pounds. So there will come times when I will have to order the salad and buy lots of vegetables and feel like a girl on a diet because I sort of am a girl on a diet (at least until my jeans fit again). Which sucks.
However, I also think people should be allowed to eat whatever the hell they want to eat, be it the triple-cheeseburger combo meal with a milkshake and large fries or half the side salad with a glass of water. Hopefully I can find a balance somewhere between the two extremes. I'll try not to whine about it to my dinner companions either, who should be allowed to enjoy their cheese and spinach pie without someone moaning, "Oh, none of that for me, I've got to watch my weight!" It annoys me when people say things like that and I hate it if I'm even temporarily transformed into someone who does the same.
Today, my pants are looser. Which means eventually there will be a tomorrow filled with flaming cheese. Just not today.
Bookmark Entry | Permalink | Comments (41)Posted by PastaQueen on June 30, 2008 at 7:57 AM | Tags: cheese, diet, food, greek, maintenance
New opportunities to buy overpriced sushi
I'd never parked on the roof of a grocery store before. I'd never been to a grocery store that had parking on the roof before. Now that the Fresh Market has come to town, I can check that off the list, because that was right up there with "pet a monkey" on the list of things I absolutely must do before I die.
I had to park on the roof because every single resident of Indianapolis was as stupidly excited about the opening of this grocery store as I was. Yay! I'm not the only food dork! I've been driving by the construction site every day on the way home from work, hoping for the day when I can easily stop off to buy overpriced sushi instead of detouring several miles out of my way to buy overpriced sushi. When they changed the banner from "Coming soon" to "Coming June 25," I nearly started bouncing up and down in my car. I know they're going to charge me far too much for mangoes, but I just love it when a new store opens. It's like a big party and the whole town is invited! This opening is particularly exciting because no grocery store had been in that location since the Atlas grocery closed down in 2002 , which pissed a lot of people off.
Even with the deluge of customers, someone had taken the time to tip the top plastic hand basket up and away so it could be easily picked out of the stack. Nice attention to detail, guys! I wasn't a few steps into the fruit section when a woman offered me a pineapple chunk stabbed not by a toothpick, but by a pretzel stick. I wanted to take a photo of the delightful hors d'oeuvres, but I was afraid of being accused of spying for the Kroger. I didn't want to be tossed onto the freshly paved parking lot before I could check the price on sushi, so I kept my digital camera hidden in my basket with the flash off, which probably made me look even more like a spy.
When I walked in, I thought the prices were what would deter me from stopping here too often. However, now I know it will be the evil under glass.
The very colorful evil.
Along with the beautiful and tempting dessert section, they also had a huge candy aisle near the checkout section, which could not be avoided unless you plan on shoplifting. There is also a huge nut section, which made me nuts. I found myself staring at a big tub of Kona Coffee Crunch for an inordinately long time, reading the list of ingredients including cinnamon and walnuts and yogurt covered nuts, beginning to talk myself into buying some. I, who still have muesli in my trunk because I can't handle having it in my cupboards. It was like having demons whispering to me. Finally I pulled myself out of it, if only because I took a look at the lines.
Then I ditched my plastic bag of $0.99 per pound peaches too, vowing to come back later in the week when prices were still good, even if those particular peaches won't be.
Bookmark Entry | Permalink | Comments (30)Posted by PastaQueen on June 27, 2008 at 7:43 AM | Tags: dessert, fresh market, grocery, nuts, sushi
Another reminder - Reading with Robin
I taped a delightful interview with Robin Kall last night for her radio show, Reading with Robin. It will air at 7:00am tomorrow morning, Saturday, June 28 on WHJJ-AM in Providence, RI. You can listen to it live on the radio station's web site here. Thanks to Robin for inviting me!
Bookmark Entry | Permalink | Comments (0)Posted by PastaQueen on June 27, 2008 at 7:40 AM | Tags: interview, reading with robin
Reminders
You can still win $25 at Amazon.com!
You've still got 4 days left to enter my Viral Video Contest and be entered to win a $25 gift certificate to Amazon.com, a Burt's Bee's gift basket, a free autographed book and a spaghetti scepter. (Do it for the spaghetti scepter.) Details are here.
Catch me in South Bend
I'll be in South Bend, Indiana, holding court in the Barnes & Noble at 4601 Grape Road at 4pm on Saturday, June 28. I'm sold out of autographed copies on my book site, so this is one of the last times you'll be able to score a signed copy unless you randomly bump into me on the street while carrying a copy.
Please spay and neuter your pets
It's important to control the pet population...oh wait, sorry, this has nothing to do with me or weight loss. I'm just flashing back to the prime time edition of The Price is Right last night.
Posted by PastaQueen on June 26, 2008 at 12:08 PM | Tags: contest, giveaway, signing, south bend
Want second helpings? Devour more entries in the archives.
