A couple months ago I was at the bank drive-through window when the teller said, “Oh, hello! I just talked to you sister yesterday.” Which was news to me, because I don’t have a sister, and to my knowledge my brother has not been depositing checks in drag. I corrected her error, but the incident reminded me of two other events in my life.

First, right after I moved to Indianapolis, I was waiting in a line wrapped around a movie theater to get tickets for Star Wars – The Phantom Menace before we all found out the prequels were going to suck. The guy in front of me turned around and said, “Didn’t I go to high school with you?” Of course he hadn’t, because he wasn’t from Kentucky. The second event, was two or three years later when I was living fat and alone in my college apartment. I stopped at a liquor store to buy pina colada stuff when the counter boy asked me, “Don’t I know you from somewhere?” But he didn’t.

During [...]

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As I mentioned earlier, whenever I’ve started my car the last couple weeks the “Change Oil Soon” light has turned on for 30 seconds and then turned itself off. I finally read my owner’s manual, and learned that if you don’t reset a button in the fuse box after you change the oil, this light comes on every four to five thousand miles. I had my oil changed 1000 miles ago, and I bet the mechanic forgot to reset the button. So I popped the hood, got my hands dirty, reset the fuse, and the light hasn’t come on since.

The “Change Oil Soon” light in my head is still flashing, causing my nerves to light up a headache in my skull although nothing is actually wrong with me. I have not been able to reset the fuse for the past 19 days. Yes, I have had a headache for literally 19 days. 24/7. Non-stop. Not 19 headaches over 19 days, just one, long, never-ending symphony of pain. It feels like too much pressure in my [...]

• Continue reading "Marinating in the migraine of pain"