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When’s dessert?

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Two seconds: The amount of time I wish would elapse between eating my last bite of Thanksgiving dinner and starting on Thanksgiving dessert.

Two hours: The amount of time that actually elapses.

Complete hell: The amount of time in between these two events.

Over the years I’ve had varying opinions about whether food addiction exists and if I have it, but the single-minded focus I felt in anticipation of devouring some dirt cake and apple crisp on Thanksgiving presented a strong case for its existence.

Literally the moment I finished eating dinner, I wanted to eat dessert. I love sweets and I knew there was a delicious concoction of crushed Oreos, whipped cream and cream cheese sitting in the fridge. I found myself sitting at the table while other people were still finishing their meals thinking, “Oh my God! Eat faster! Don’t you want dessert?!” Then when we were all done, we helped with the washing up. (I supervised!) And people mingled. And went to the bathroom. And started chatting. [...]

The cats are thankful for loosely sealed Tupperware containers

I was away for Thanksgiving, visiting family in Louisville and enjoying this lovely Edible Arrangement:

Unbeknownst to me, while my roommate and I were away, the kitties were up to these shenanigans:

We do not know how many Snickerdoodles were lost in the bellies of the felines. Fortunately for my roommate, she has plenty of extra dough in the fridge to make more. Unfortunately, I love me some Snickerdoodles and will have to work hard not to sneak in some snacking like the kitties did.

As for the Edible Arrangement, it was as tasty as it was lovely!

Do they have Thanksgiving in Burbank?

When I was in LA, I drove to Burbank and took the Warner Brothers Studio VIP tour. See, there’s the water tower!

Sadly there were no Animaniacs loitering in the vicinity. I saw a great many interesting things on the tour, which I’ll talk about in another entry if anyone isn’t sick of hearing about LA already. (I met Adam Baldwin! I have very, very, vague “Chuck” spoilers!) Take a look at this photo first:

We got to walk around an area of the prop department, which is more like the prop building, which was home to furniture, silverware, and rubber chickens. In the hallway, some items were pulled out and tagged with labels reserving them for different productions. As you can see, an armoire was reserved for the show True Blood, but the reservation date is for today, Thanksgiving! I hope no one is working on the WB Studio lot on this holiday, particularly not any vampires sucking down turkey blood.

In that spirit, I wish you all a happy day, even you foreigners or vegans who [...]

Christmas in November

I was walking down the toilet paper aisle at Kroger yesterday, when I was blindsided by this:

Either my local Kroger exists in a time bubble that has been forced one month into the future, or the managers are missing the month of November in their wall calendars, because as we all know, it is far, far, far too soon to be putting up Christmas trees.

Giving thanks for restraint

I was going to make some pumpkin bread to bring to Thanksgiving dinner. I copied the recipe down by hand from my mother’s Betty Crocker cookbook which is baptized in shortening splatters. I was looking forward to ridding myself of the four pounds of pumpkin puree in my freezer. Last week I even checked to make sure I had enough flour in the cupboard.

Then last night I looked at my dirty dishes in the sink and I didn’t want to wash them. And I thought about driving to the grocery on Thanksgiving Eve to buy shortening and shuddered. But mostly I knew that if I baked a loaf of pumpkin bread, I would eat half a loaf of pumpkin bread before Thursday morning. I would tell myself not to. I’d believe that I could restrain myself. But who am I kidding? If I bake a loaf of pumpkin bread I’m going to eat half of it in a day. That’s just who I am.

So I put away the recipe and stuffed the thawed pumpkin back [...]

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Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, weight-loss inspiration, chronic headache sufferer, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She does this at JenFul now, but you can still have fun perusing her past here.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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