Compulsive eaters shouldn’t live in gingerbread houses

After scouring the Fulda Family archives (a.k.a. three shoeboxes full of photos), the head librarian (a.k.a. my mom) uncovered visual documentation of the gingerbread houses I built during two consecutive Christmases in my mid-teens. I know this will be difficult, but can you guess which package below contains the wrapped gingerbread house kit purchased from Target? Please, take your time.

While I’d like to say I wanted to build a gingerbread house out of my love for the culinary arts, I really just wanted to shove sheets of gingerbread dotted with gum drops down my throat, and then suck on the bag of frosting as a chaser. However, as I soon learned, eating a gingerbread house is not as fun as Hansel and Gretel made it out to be.

First off, building the house is a lot of work. The roof would slide off, gum drops never quite stayed attached, and overall the house looked like it’d been built by a corrupt contractor who was embezzling supplies for the Lollipop Guild. This was because I couldn’t help [...]

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