Hey, everybody! I am still in Los Angeles on the most anxiety-ridden vacation ever. First my bag got lost, now my leg hurts so much I can barely walk, and yesterday my rental car was damaged. Jetta vs. armored truck: armored truck wins. And no, I was not driving the armored truck. At least the driver didn’t think I was trying to rob him. No one was injured and my insurance will cover it, but I will NEVER go back to the Santa Monica Pier again. Oh, and did I mention that I missed the Mulholland Drive exit on the 405 and drove all the way to the north side of the Valley before I figured it out?

But then, when I checked into my hotel that evening, thirsty, hungry, and stressed out, I found this waiting on my pillow and on my desk:

I nearly broke down and cried. Something small and simple like finding a nice little gift in my room at the end of a crazy-ass day did wonders to cheer me up. (Though [...]

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I ate Splenda straight out of the bag a couple nights ago. Considering how frequently I ate Tang crystals or hardened rocks of brown sugar as a kid (and an adult), it’s odd that it’s taken me this long to consider eating the artificial sweetener straight up. It wasn’t as good as sugar or Tang. After all, Mary Poppins didn’t sing, “A spoon full of Splenda helps the medicine go down.” However, it had the same texture as cotton candy, which I found to be surprisingly delightful. I’d stick a spoonful in my mouth and as my saliva seeped into the bulked-up mix of strange chemicals, it would collapse into a clumpy, ball of sweetness on my tongue. Why hasn’t anyone ever mentioned that before? Am I the only nut who has eaten the stuff raw? I wonder if Splenda could develop a zero-calorie cotton candy. I’d try that at the State Fair.

I’m not recommending that anyone start eating Splenda by the bagful. Even the sleaziest salesman alive couldn’t argue that it has any nutritional [...]

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Sometimes I feel like a Magic 8 ball because readers ask me a lot of questions. (At least they don’t shake me for the answers.) I don’t mind answering, but by far, the most popular question is, "How is your skin?" (In second place is, "How did you start running?" and a close third is "How do you stay motivated?") I’ve written entries to address all of these questions to save everybody some time, but recently I’ve received a couple follow-up questions on the skin entry. People want to know if my skin has tightened up any over the past year. The answer? I don’t think so.

It’s hard to be completely certain since a change like that would be subtle. I don’t think I look any older than I did a year ago. And a year ago I didn’t think I looked any older than the year before. However, I do keep aging and 20 years from now I’m sure I’ll look older than I do today. The skin however, is still somewhat loose, particularly [...]

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I have an open question for all my readers. Is there anyone out there who does not have a vice? Is there anyone who does not have a habit or addiction that they fall back on when bad shit happens? It seems like everybody’s got something, be it food, alcohol, or overzealous fingernail biting. I’m curious if there’s anyone out there who is miraculously well-adjusted and just does a lot of yoga. If not, what is your vice? Mine’s definitely food. (Like, duh.)

ETA: I’m not talking just about bad habits or things we do that are bad for us, but specifically about behaviors or addictions used to relieve pain or anxiety. I was talking to someone recently who said one of the unspoken rules of Alcoholic’s Anonymous is that to quit drinking you start smoking. So I was wondering, is it inevitable that you are always going to seek out a behavior to relieve pain, or do people ever really get past it? Basically, am I always going to want to eat ice cream when [...]

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I’m glad I took a picture of 170.8 because I ain’t nowhere near that number this week. There has been some stress at Casa de Pasta during the past two weeks. It involves things that “Thou Shalt Not Blog About,” so I can’t get into the details. As a result I haven’t read any blogs for two weeks, so hopefully no one has eloped or died or opened a salt water taffy shop without me knowing. However, I can assure you that everything is all right now. In retrospect it’s all worked out for the best too.

Except for the part with the three pints of ice cream.

Don’t worry, I didn’t eat them all in one night. I still have some restraint. But when I stare into the vortex of uncertainty, I like to imagine the swirling vortex is a chocolate marshmallow Pinwheel cookie and then I devour it whole. Twelve times.

I’ve read a lot of blogs over the years and I’ve always felt bad for the bloggers who gain weight when their life takes an [...]

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