I had been drinking plenty of water, so I knew heatstroke wasn’t causing me to hallucinate the words on the sign above the barn at the Indiana State Fair. Pioneer Farm Blog? Huh? I stared at it for another 5 seconds and still couldn’t understand what the sign was supposed to say. A Pioneer Farm Blog? Here? Amongst the sheep and horses and pigs? Then finally I figured it out – Pioneer Farm Bldg. (short for “Building”). Good to know.

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The sign on this tractor-pulled shuttle says, “The few. The proud. The ones who stick to their diets.” As you can see, I am not on this train. Instead, I am being lured to the deep-fried Pepsi stand by a wood cut-out of the Pillsbury Dough Boy.

At the Indiana State Fair they will deep fry anything, from fresh cut broccoli to cookie dough. I bet they would deep fry a rat, and I can’t guarantee you the carnies haven’t done so after hours. The fair only comes around once a year, so even though I knew this was a very bad, no-good, awful idea, I paid way too much money to split some deep-fried Pepsi and deep-fried cookie dough with my friend Jenny.

The deep-fried Pepsi was very disappointing, since it’s essentially balls of deep-fried Pepsi batter. The deep-fried cookie dough was much more delicious. The guilt of eating this evil concoction was tapered by three things:

1) For the second year in a row the state fair uses no trans-fats!

2) We walked four miles round trip [...]

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As a Hoosier, I am proud to tell you all that the Indiana State Fair has banned the use of trans-fats in its concession stand food. That’s right, you can now crunch on a platter of deep-fried Oreos, Snickers bars and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups without worrying about extra hydrogen atoms in your unsaturated fats. Yippee?

I have never attended the state fair because I get headaches when I get dehydrated, so walking around a huge parking lot during a heat wave seems like a prescription for a migraine. However, I have been tempted to go simply because I am equal parts horrified and fascinated by the idea of deep-fried Pepsi. I think it’s awesome that you can deep-fry a beverage, even if it’s also proof of an unholy pact between culinary scientists and Satan.

I love the idea of cooking with sodas. I even tried a recipe for a Dr. Pepper Baked Apple once, which disappointingly tasted just like a normal baked apple. I am an unrepentant soft drink addict even though they helped make me [...]

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