I grabbed this recipe from Erin Shea’s site, Lose the Buddha over a year ago, though she calls them peanut butter pancakes. I prefer to call them crepes since it sounds more egg-like. I’m sure someone will tell me why it’s absolutely erroneous for me to be calling them crepes, but I don’t care, they’ll always be crepes to me. I also doubled the recipe because I am tall and hungry.

Peanut Butter Crepes

1 large egg

5 egg whites

1 Tablespoon Splenda (or sugar or another sweetener)

2 Tablespoons peanut butter

Combine ingredients in a blender or with a mixer in a bowl. Lightly coat a skillet with spray-on oil and heat on high. Pour half the mixture onto the skillet, swirling the pan around to coat the entire skillet in the egg mixture. Once the mixture is starting to thicken, flip it over and cook the other side. Remove from pan. Repeat for the rest of the mixture. Enjoy!

First, I separate the egg whites. Four years ago this seemed insanely difficult, but now I do it with ease. I used to feel bad about dropping the egg yolks down the garbage disposal, but I got over it, especially when I realized the egg whites have less calories and more protein than the yolks. Next I dump in the Splenda (or in this case, the generic Kroger brand with identical packaging, Apriva) and peanut butter and mix the whole concoction with my hand mixer.

As I’m mixing, I’m also heating up the skillet which I’ve sprayed with oil. I pour half the mixture into the pan and let it cook a while.

I swirl the pan around to cook more of the batter around the edges, then wait for it to firm up a bit.

Next comes the tricky part. I have to flip the crepe, but it’s still pretty runny on top. Usually I end up splattering egg whites on the stove and folding the crepe strangely. As long as it all gets cooked, I don’t really care. Pretty is overrated.

When that crepe’s done, I take it out of the skillet and cook another. Then I have a tasty, peanut buttery breakfast. The kitties agree! They always lick the plate clean with their tongues, which helps cut down on the dishes I have to do.

I’m not recommending that anyone start eating Splenda by the bagful. Even the sleaziest salesman alive couldn’t argue that it has any nutritional value, and I know a lot of people are squeamish about artificial sweeteners anyway for fear it’ll give them a 6th finger. (But you’d be an awesome piano player!) I only turned to the Splenda because I was stressed out about speaking publicly over the weekend at the Blog Indiana convention (more on that later) and I love to do me some stress eating. However, I started Phase 1 of the South Beach Diet ten days ago and I didn’t want to screw it up with a pint of mint chocolate chip. So, I looked around the kitchen for something to abuse, and a bagful of Splenda it was.

Phase 1 is going pretty well. It’s been easier to stick to then I remember. I believe that any nutritionally sound diet that results in you eating less calories than you burn will work. I just prefer South Beach because it’s my thing and it’s worked for me in the past. I also like that I have to make a big mental shift when I do Phase 1. I have a lot of rules to follow and I know that I’m going to aim for a calorie deficit for the next couple weeks. If I just try to vaguely start eating less or eating “better,” but still in a manner similar to what I do all the time, the mental shift doesn’t happen. I find myself doing a bit of cheating or deciding it’s okay to have a second helping. More than anything, it’s been good to pick a plan with rules and guidelines and stick to it for awhile, or at least until the numbers on the scale are back in a zone where I’d like them.

And it also leads to odd discoveries about Splenda.

It’s hard to be completely certain since a change like that would be subtle. I don’t think I look any older than I did a year ago. And a year ago I didn’t think I looked any older than the year before. However, I do keep aging and 20 years from now I’m sure I’ll look older than I do today. The skin however, is still somewhat loose, particularly under my arms, in my thighs, on my butt, and around my tummy. It doesn’t restrict my movement. I don’t have any rashes. But if I ever burn my forearm on the stove, I’ll have plenty of material for skin grafts. I know most of you would like to hear that the skin has tightened up like a Shrinky Dink, but my epidermis does not have the same properties as that space-age plastic. The skin doesn’t bother me, but I won’t be running in shorts any time soon, no matter how hot it gets.

On the bright side, I evidently have a great complexion that I have failed to appreciate for the majority of my life. Recently at least 4 or 5 people have commented on my great skin independently of each other at different events, so I’m starting to think, "Hey, it’s possible that I have great skin." The hermit lifestyle really pays off. No sun exposure! All those years of never wearing makeup probably didn’t hurt either. The sad thing is, I don’t care much about my complexion. My skin would be much more appreciated on someone who actually notices these things. Too bad I can’t sell off the extra square foot of flesh that I’ve got lying around.

I got several compliments on my hair in the last post too. Thanks, y’all. I am not used to all these “You are pretty” comments. It is bizarre. The hairstylist barely did anything to it either (and I have a witness who will testify as such), so I am comfortable taking all the credit for my lovely locks.

(I just now noticed I’m wearing green while sitting on a green couch, as if I’m trying to blend into the upholstery. Oops!)

Kate wanted to know what products I use. My secret is…conditioner. Dove conditioner if you want specifics, which I use because I like their ad campaigns. Um, yeah, I don’t use many products. My hair just…does that. In 5th grade two girls asked me, “Who does your hair?” and I told them “My mom,” because she was the one trimming my locks with scissors in the kitchen. They asked me again a couple other times during the year, but it was only a decade later that I realized they thought I had a perm.

However, it took me even more than that decade before I learned how to fight the frizz, as this picture from high school proves:

If you have curly hair, I highly recommend the book Curly Girl by Lorraine Massey. It taught me how to avoid frizz by shampooing only once a week. Wait! I promise I don’t smell bad! I rinse my hair more often than that, but shampoo dries out curly hair, so I only use it once a week. I also use conditioner. Other than that, I use a round brush and a hair dryer with a diffuser attachment to style. I also wind up the top layers of my hair and clip them on top to dry the bottom hair first, and then unclip them to dry the upper layers of my hair. Those are my secrets. Do with them what you will.

Italian-Style Crustless Cheesecake

South Beach Diet Phase 1

Makes 8 servings

1 lb. container part-skim ricotta cheese

3 eggs

1 tsp. vanilla extract

8 packets Splenda

Handful of slivered almonds (optional)

Preheat oven to 325F. Spray a 9-inch pie plate with cooking spray. Mix the first four ingredients in a bowl until fully incorporated. Turn into the prepared pie plate. Add almonds on top of mixture (optional) and bake 45-60 minutes, or until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool on a wire rack, and then chill. Refrigerate until serving time.

Your little sister can put her hair in pigtails, put on a Catholic School girl outfit and sing with her hair brush in front of the mirror like Britney Spears, but that doesn’t make her Britney Spears. This recipe is trying hard to be cheesecake, but it just ain’t cheesecake.

It’s not bad really, but I think I would like it better if it were called “Cheese Pie” or something. When I hear “Cheesecake” I get some delicious expectations which this just didn’t live up to. It’s just – off. But my family devoured it in basically an evening, so it was worth making once, though I won’t bother with it again. It also takes an hour to make, so it won’t be satisfying any impulsive dessert cravings.

Peanut Butter Cookies

South Beach Diet – Phase 1

1 cup smooth peanut butter

1 cup Splenda

1 egg

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Mix ingredients together. Drop teaspoon sized balls onto greased cookie sheet and bake for about 10 minutes.

These cookies were pretty good, but you definitely need some milk nearby to get the dry taste out of your mouth. I found it pretty amazing that you can actually make cookies without flour. They’d probably taste better with the flour, but these weren’t bad at all. Bonus points for being quick to make.

The only problem I had was that I couldn’t eat just one. I wanted to eat 4, which included more nuts than I should be having in a day. I have this problem with all cookies and small serving food though. Whenever I make whole wheat bread, I end up chomping on 3 slices or half the loaf.

Final Assessment: I won’t throw out the recipe, but it’s not going into regular rotation.

So, as I was saying, there is a recipe in the South Beach Cookbook for an almond apple souffle. I just did that part for the apples and replaced the almond extract with cinnamon sprinkles. It was soooo good. I even dolloped some whip cream on top. My one concern is that the apples probably have less fiber because they are peeled. Next time I might try making them with peel in tact and see what happens. Recipe follows:

Core and peel 3 medium sized baking apples (or 2 large Red Delicious as I did). Combine with 1/4 cup water in a 2qt sauce pan. Bring to boil, then reduce heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Remove from heat and mix in 3 tbsp of Splenda (or sugar substitute of your choice). Sprinkle on cinnamon and enjoy!