I am sick. Again. This time I have a cold, which seems to have wiped out my ability to say anything funny about it. I’ll try anyway: The phlegm I’ve coughed up puts some of the cats’ hairballs to shame. Ha? No, I guess that’s more gross than funny.

In an effort to post new content despite my illness, here is a photo of me with the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile taken last July at the BlogHer conference. Hot dog!

• Continue reading "Sick day, part 2: Revenge of the mucus"

Monday night, my nausea finally went away, either on its own or because I threw everything but the kitchen sink at it. (And if I really thought the kitchen sink would have had an effect, I would have thrown that too.)

The headache clinic I go to has an in-patient program that I haven’t done, but I have heard about. Their approach is to pump you full of lots of different drugs until something breaks your headache. I decided this was a good approach to take for my nausea too, so I took every single over-the-counter remedy I’d heard of for nausea, all at once.

First, I dumped a teaspoon of ginger into my vanilla yogurt and ate it. Then I went to the Kroger pharmacy and bought Nauzene tablets which I ate in the parking lot. When they failed to work in four minutes like the box promised, I started chewing the Spearment gum I’d also bought and drove across the street to CVS where I purchased Dramamine. I tossed that back in the parking lot [...]

• Continue reading "Upchuck update"

I was going to debrief you guys on my first week of The Beck Diet Solution today. Instead, I got the H1N1 vaccine on Saturday morning and have felt like barfing all over the blog for the past 48 hours. They said nausea was a possible side effect, but I didn’t really believe them until I spent all weekend on the couch. On the plus side, I’ve lost 5 pounds! But I know it will all come back when I start eating again.

A part of me wonders if I will now be nauseated for life, just as I one day got a headache that never went away. We’ll cross our fingers that doesn’t happen. I am feeling a bit less barftastic today, but not that much, so I am calling in sick to the blog. Instead, you can listen to the latest Two Fit Chicks and a Microphone podcast where I have a brief appearance talking about starting your healthy living plan. I have not listened to it yet, but hopefully I don’t sound like [...]

• Continue reading "Calling in sick to my blog"

Sick days always sound like much more fun until you are actually sick. I have caught whatever bacteria or virus we’ve been sending around the office like YouTube links. So, I don’t feel up to writing any entries today.

I tried to make a video of me using a neti pot last night for your enjoyment, but the batteries died halfway through and it’s damn hard to videotape yourself while using a neti pot anyway. Plus the cats were swarming around me, fascinated by the water flowing out of my nose, blocking my light. Instead, here is a video of some other dude using a neti pot, though I do not share his experimental nature.

• Continue reading "Sick day"

I feel like someone has stolen one of my most valuable possessions: my health. Either that, or I have been kidnapped and replaced by someone who looks like me but does a very bad impression of myself. My doppelganger doesn’t run or lift weights, she doesn’t feel like blogging, and she sits around watching mediocre television all evening. Wait, she’s not my doppelganger! She’s me from 4 years ago! I’ve worked so hard these past years to become a better version of myself, yet all it takes is one headache from hell to instantly rewind all my work.

I’ve been hanging out with Mr. Headache for four days now. I’ve dropped some subtle hints that he should go home now (Advil and Tylenol). I’ve dropped some less subtle hints too (a shot and some prescription meds from my doctor), but it still hasn’t gotten the message. So, it’s just me and the pressure in my head until my skull explodes or it finally decides to piss off. Thankfully, my headache has dialed down its intensity from [...]

• Continue reading "With a headache like this, I’m considering decapitation"